So I've been engaged for about two months now, which is absolutely awesome. I love the man I'm going to marry, there is no question he is my best friend. The wedding isn't going to be for about two years, which we know seems so far, but in another realm it really isn't.
Here's the thing about getting engaged. It involves planning a wedding. I have no idea what I am doing. Hell I've only been to one, maybe two weddings in my life.
Now you're probably thinking "why the heck is she talking about her wedding? What does this have to do with body image?" Right? I'm getting there.
In looking for wedding idea's I am constantly seeing posts by people or businesses telling me what I must do to have successful wedding. For me that makes me want to gag. I pretty much hate it when someone tells me I have to do something, it makes me resist it. Not when it comes to being an adult and being responsible. But for things like, you need to lose 10 pounds to look good on camera...kiss my ass.
All of this wedding stuff made me realize one thing about myself. In life I tend to get caught up in what and who I am told I should be, verses loving who I already am.
Society often dictates that we should, look, dress and feel certain ways all of the time. I often have thoughts that I should be dressing differently when I'm not at work. Maybe I should try to dress up more when I go somewhere with friends? The truth is I am happiest in a pair of shorts/jeans and a t-shirt or tank top. I have plenty of nicer shirts or tank tops that are perfectly acceptable for going out. But so I often I find myself comparing myself to other women. "Oh she's in a dress and heels, maybe I should be doing the same thing, trying harder."
There are certain occasions where I will get dressed up because said occasion calls for it. But the truth is, for a night at the bar, hanging out with friends, or date night, I am most comfortable wearing jeans, and flats or flip flops. The problem is I become self conscious once I see what everyone else is wearing. For the most part I am usually perfectly presentable, but that doesn't stop me from thinking I should be something else, something more.
What this says to me is that I am not fully comfortable with not only how I dress, but who I am in general. I focus that energy into what I should be doing, instead of doing what makes me feel good about myself. I know I am not alone in this, and I think this kind of thing feeds directly into how we view our bodies. "The girl on the cover of Vogues looks like this, so should I," sort of mentality. Or "she's always in nice dresses, and high heels, I should do that too so people take me more seriously." Come on ladies you know you have had these thoughts. If you say you haven't you are probably lying. If you really haven't then good for you! I mean it. I'm sure men struggle with these things as well, but I'm not a man therefore couldn't tell you.
Being comfortable with yourself, your style and your personality is just as important as being comfortable in your body. They all directly feed each other. Our culture has a true love of trying to turn us all into conforming robots. We all need to look like the latest hot celeb in order to feel good about ourselves. That's just not true. We need to embrace ourselves for who we are. Including things or hobbies that you love.
You should not feel the need to make excuses for why you love something. You love because you just do. Sometimes that really is the only excuse. I get really intense during Steeler games. I love Disney everything. Stupid memes, Despicable Me, singing chickens all make me laugh uncontrollably. I love dogs to the point where I squeal almost every time I see one. These are just few traits that I know some people find off putting, but others find it perfectly endearing.
I'm an easily amused, sometimes childish, emotional, loving, almost 25 year old. I am learning to love myself for who I am.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to growth, just so we're clear. But grow in ways that make you uniquely you! Don't change to make someone happy, unless it's something that will benefit your life and will make you truly happy as well. Ways that help you love who you already are, even more.
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