Many of the articles you see about body image tend to focus on "the real woman." First off this is crap. We're all real people therefore we are real women. We all struggle and succeed in different and similar ways. Just because you are curvier doesn't give you the right to say you are more real than the skinny girl next to you. But with all of the body image encouragement women give to each other, there seems to be someone we have forgotten. Our gender opposites. The guys.
Yes ladies, believe or not men too struggle with positive body image. When they put on a few pounds, even though they don't show it in the same way we do, they become frustrated and feel down on themselves. Some call themselves fat, just like we do. Men too live in a world where their body expectations are unrealistic. Do you know who the main proprietors of said expectations are? Us.
Now I know some of you will be a bit defensive, and say "well they expect that of us too," except that is the problem. We complain about men's unrealistic expectation of ourselves, but we turn around and do the same thing. Admit it, when you saw the second Thor movie you ogled Chris Hemsworth during that showering bit. I did a little. But I won't lie, I'm glad my guy is not a muscley body builder. I find him extremely attractive as he is.
I have had many conversations with some of my single women friends over the past few weeks about men they were seeing or that they were into. The first thing many of them describe is how he looks, and how built or not built he is. If the man is built, they say "he is super hot, and tall, with huge muscles." If he's a little more on the average side of physicality, "he's okay, but he's very nice." When we describe a man in the second way, it seems like we are defending our reasoning for liking him because he doesn't fit the popular expectation. Now here's my question, why is a guy considered "hot," just because he happens to be built? Just like, why is a woman considered "hot," just because she happens to be skinny? *There should be no standard as to what makes a person beautiful or attractive, everyone is attracted to different things, do not apologize for it.
(*Marks added piece from earlier post.)
Believe it or not, men really are dealing with the same issue we are. They too see magazine covers in stores everyday, of "ripped" men and feel that they have a standard to live up to in order to get or please women. There are cologne ads that tell them, they need to look a certain way in order to find love. The gross truth about our society is that your natural body figure is not accepted no matter what gender you are. This is not to say that guys who are built are ugly, don't get things twisted. But some people just do not have that type of body, plus many of those male models are airbrushed to give them more abs.
It is time that we encourage our male counterparts as well as each other. Let them know that they too, are beautiful (Or handsome, which ever they prefer) as they are. That body builder or not, they do not need to live up to some silly magazine cover, and super hero film expectations to be attractive. That like us, they should strive to be healthy, not perfect.
If someday we all pull together in this, maybe someday we will be able to change the way modeling agencies look at people, and someday stop all of the airbrushing and editing. People in general are beautiful, the computer doesn't need to make it that way.
Check out this Huffpost article about real men posing in underwear ads. I think these guys make just as awesome models as the professionals.
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