Normally on Monday's I try to write about healthy body image but, I'm in Nevada, and am very emotional. More than I have ever been before being here. I've probably cried at least three times since being here, for happy and sad reasons. No one has really seen it, I'm a crier, but I don't typically like to cry in front of people. But the reason I am writing this is because I think, that this has been my favorite trip here so far. Because for several reasons, we have had so much time to just be.
As I have said before, I love my family. All of them and they're all very spread out, so I have to make visits to many places. Every time I go somewhere, we are all trying to make these big plans of what we are going to do, in order to get the most out of the always, short time that we have. This trip was different, and I couldn't have loved it more.
My Gramps is still healing from his lung collapse and will be for awhile, so he has to take it very easy, and he needs someone to watch out for him during the day time. Going into this trip I knew there would be plenty of down time, while I didn't fully realize just how much, I was perfectly fine with it. First, downtime not due to injury was fantastic, second, I got to really just hang out with my aunt and grandparents. I got to just be in the same room as them. With everything that has happened I think that was something I at least, really needed.
The second I got off the plane I was looking around and smiling. When I saw my aunt, and then hugged her it was everything I had to not be the big pile of mush that I am. The joy was just exploding from my heart. If I wouldn't have looked like a fool I would have been dancing all over the place. I almost did.
Most of this trip was sitting around watching TV and taking naps. My aunt and I went out to eat a few times, but this was really just about being in each others company. We had conversation, about random odds and ends, but the feeling I have when with any members of my family (both mine and his) is almost on a spiritual level. We are able to just sit in the same room as each other and feel the love that is so very present. Talk about life, and whatever we are watching. It is truly beautiful.
Making the most out of visits is important, but it doesn't mean that you must be on the go the whole time, trying to create memories. Sometimes the best memories are made when you allow yourself to just be with each other, cherish the time you have, because it always comes to an end, and your regular life has to start again. So while you can, just love on each other, and know that you will see them again soon.
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