Goals for the 2014

So first let me just say...holy cow where did time go?! I cannot believe that 2014 is here already, and that I survived 2013, it was a very strange, stressful, and wonderful year. That being said last year I only set one goal for myself and I now deem it pathetic and worldly, and it was to lose weight. I did not succeed in this goal. Okay that's not true, I did back and forth several times I've fluctuated between the same ten pounds all year. But I would get so stressed out over not losing the weight, or what "being healthy" meant that I really was going down a bad path. Almost self destructive in a way.

I was obsessed with the idea of being skinny, and not model skinny, but skinnier than I am now.  For awhile all I talked about was the gym, and I started doing Herbalife nutrition supplements, tried to become a vegetarian, and set unrealistic "fitness goals" for myself, which I never achieved and then became depressed when I didn't achieve them. Which here starts off my list of goals for 2014;

1- This year I'm taking a different spin on being healthy, and actually learning how to be healthy. Introducing myself to new foods, and cutting out processed food! The words low fat do not mean a damned thing if there are no vegetables and a ton of preservatives in the stuff. This year I am going to teach myself how to really cook, and how get the best nutrients I can out of juicing fresh veggies and fruit. Thanks to my boyfriends mom that is going to be breeze.

Also in steps to being more healthy, sleeping habits. Actually having them. I started on a really good path this summer, where I would make myself tea, grab a book and read before going to bed. That is going to happen again. I slept so much better then. Also with that. I will not sleep past 10 anymore unless I was up until 5:00 a.m. for some reason the night before. Massive sleeping in days are over because it always keeps me awake at night. So here's to a happier, healthier, well rested 2014.

2 - Learn Spanish - I live in LA, it needs to happen. Plus I have a giant set to learn. I am going to learn spanish.

3 - Relearn Sign Language - Once upon a time I could actually hold conversations with the deaf. Now forget about it, I can spell and that's about it. This year I will become fluent in both languages!

4 - Watch one new movie per week - I want to be an actress. Yet I am horribly lacking in film knowledge. My boyfriend however is a film fiend, which is one of the things I love about him! I think this goal will help me know more about the industry I so desire to become a part of.

5 - Read One book per month - Since the discovery of the internet, social media, smart phones, and all of those things, books have almost become a thing of the past. I love to read so this is a sad, sad fact of my life. Less internet, more books!

6 - Go Home - I have not been to Pennsylvania since July 2012...enough said. It's happening.

7 - Get Head Shots - This is getting done. No more putting things off! Time to fight for the career I want.

8 - Less Smart Phone more guy time - I am one of those people that is always on their phones. Even when I am with people. I want to spend more quality time with people, especially my guy, without having my phone be a distraction. Challenge accepted.

9 - Accepting my body - I was really mean to myself mentally this year. I became really depressed over the way I looked. Convinced myself that I will never work, because in the industry I am considered fat. While by societal standards I could stand to lose a few pounds, I am learning to love myself the way I am. I am already a great deal down this path but still have ways to go. Having a boyfriend who constantly reinforces that helps a lot too! He really is wonderful.

10 - Spend one hour or less mindlessly surfing the net - Again internet is an issue. I will sometime sit and stare a facebook for hours, procrastinating on things that I could actually be doing, like reading, going for a walk, cooking, something! I think this will make me realize that I have a lot more time in my life, than I think I do.


11 - Read my Bible everyday - This is a hard one for any Christian, but it can be done! I started a Chronological reading plan months ago and did really well with it for about a month...then I failed. Time to get back on the horse. I want to know what God is saying!

12 - Take an Acting Class - Yes this was my whole college career, but I could use a brush up for sure!

Alright 2014, bring it on! I'm ready!

Top Ten Carrie Underwood Songs Part 2

Continuing on;

05 - Look At Me - As much as he doesn't like country, when the boy and I get married, this is playing at some point. This song pretty much exemplifies what I feel every time I look at him. Yes even when I'm mad at him. It has been this way since the second I realized I was in love with him, which wasn't long after we met. I appreciate this so much more I think because up until the past two and half years, our relationship was NOT easy, and I heard this song for the first time shortly after he and I reignited our relationship, and I cried because it was so true. Sometimes when I look at him this song just plays in my head.

04 - Play On - Yay Carrie for having inspirational songs with a good tune. This one is about moving on from things that are already over. I have a hard time with moving on from anything. With people, I always want to believe that friendships last forever, and am heartbroken when I realize they won't. I hate it when I'm doing a show and it ends, it feels like someone has ripped part me away. I dwell on my mistakes, hardcore, I agonize over every detail, and never let it go inwardly. This song reminds me that yes, these things are hard, but you have to keep moving, eventually you move on and grow from the experience.

03 - Crazy Dreams - This song is me. It's about chasing your dreams no matter how crazy they may seem to anyone else. I want to be an actress. I get told I'm crazy about three to four times a month. It's really annoying. I love this song because she tells you to chase them because even crazy dreams come true with some effort. I haven't even started to audition yet because of a few obstacles that I keep running into. Also it's terrifying to actually chase your dreams, but this song is one that makes me feel like anything is possible. When ever I feel like throwing in the towel I listen to this song and remember that it will happen!

02 - Nobody Ever Told You - This was originally at number 3, but I moved it up because it deserves a higher spot. Really it could number one too. This song is about telling girls they are beautiful, to get rid of the make-up, you don't need, you are gorgeous the way you are. Body image is something I struggle with greatly. This past year I obsesses about my weight and I think that it made me gain more weight, because I was depressed with how I looked in the mirror. But I'm starting to realize that what I see isn't necessarily what other people see. I heard this song, I thought it was the perfect song to remind us that we don't need some societal standard to tell us we are beautiful. We already are.

01 - Lessons Learned - It's another song about being able to move on from one thing or another. However, this one reminds you that everything you have gone through has taught you something. My childhood from the age of 11 to 18 was not the easiest, it wasn't the worst either, but it wasn't easy either. I have gone through several things in my short adult life that have brought me to my knee's, but I am thankful for every single thing that has happened, because it has shaped me into the person that I am. I wouldn't change that for the world.

So thank you Carrie Underwood, you will probably never see this, but your songs (especially these) have influenced my life in more ways you can imagine.

3 Things (Wednesday) - Upworthy.com, Conversational Kids, Opening up

1 - So recently I have discovered the glory that is upworthy.com. It is a website about just really post videos promoting good things happening in the world. Sometimes those videos can be depressing when you hear someones story, but for the most part is shows someone doing something good, or saying something uplifting. In light of so many negative, gross, hateful things that happen every day it's great to see someone focusing on positive things, we really do need more of this. The link below is the video that was my favorite today.

"Nobody gets to be you but you." - Neil Gaiman

http://www.upworthy.com/haterade-got-you-down-heres-a-tall-glass-of-sweet-encouragement-juice-instead

2 - Tonight at work, a little girl came up to window, with her mom. She just had to tell us about her American Girl doll, and how she had picked out the glasses, the outfit, and shoes herself. To make it better she did not match her doll (I find it annoying when they dress like their dolls), but the doll had a completely different outfit. Back to the point, she was so excited to tell strangers about this awesome thing she had just done. She also made it a big point to get her brother, dad and friend a cupcake. On my home I started to think about this little girl, what if we were all more like this? More open, less afraid to just be who we are, in essence like kids. I feel like when we're growing up and finding ourselves, we also lose ourselves a bit in trying to fit in societal standards. I want to be more like that little girl. Maybe people wouldn't hate on each other so much if we a little more open. Some people may think this is a naive way of thinking, but I think those people are usually the who are afraid to be who they really are.

3 - This one kind of applies to the one above - I have been working at the cupcake shop for about two and a half months now, and tonight was the first night I think that I really opened up and just let myself be who I am. I am weird, and usually for no reason, I am okay with that, but for some reason I wasn't letting that out. It felt good. I'm going to be afraid of that anymore!

Twisted Words - In Defense of Mr. Robertson

So today there was an article posted on Phil Robertson, from Duck Dynasty's supposed Anti-Gay comments, and with that followed an uproar from GLAAD, many from the gay community.

Here is the exact quote from GQ Magazine:
“Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong,” he says. “Sin becomes fine.”

What, in your mind, is sinful?

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

Read More http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson#ixzz2ntzCmMe5

 

The exact verse that he is quoting is 1 Corinthians 6:9-10: "or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor mean who have sex with men, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." New International Version

Now, Mr. Robertson was talking about sin in the general sense, as in all sins are equal. I don't know much about the show, except that this is a very bible based family, and that is fine. We do in fact, in case some of you have forgotten, live in country that allows us the freedom of religion and speech, meaning that the man is indeed entitled to his own opinions, and he is allowed to speak the aloud. Yes this next quote may be lacking a little class, but that's just who he is and I say good for you Phil.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.” Phil Robertson, GQ Magazine interview.

These are his opinions as a religious man who follows what he believes to be God's one true word and that is the Bible. Now don't get me wrong here, I am a big supporter of gay rights, and am a Christian. For me the Bible has always been a gray area, and I believe that there are many ways it can be interpreted. But if you are a person who reads the Bible and takes the words at face value, depending on which version you are reading, which is indeed the case with Mr. Robertson, homosexuality is considered wrong. End of story. I know many people that believe this same thing, but I don't think that makes them a terrible person. They are simply faithful to their belief system. People are entitled to their own opinions, whether you agree with them or not doesn't matter.

Back to the point. The man was asked his personal opinion on what he believed to be sin, and he gave it. I believe many people would have rather had him lie so he could please the world. I don't agree with him, but I'm glad he was truthful to himself. However, he did not just list homosexuality as so many people seem to be suggesting. He also made it a point to show that, again, he believes all sin is equal. Think about it, this is a man who very much believes in the Bible and all of it's commandments. Now think to the Ten Commandments; thou shalt not lie, and thou shalt not murder are both there in God's top ten rules for life. Which is worse? As people we gravitate toward murder obviously. Taking a life is something more serious, than telling your mother that you have to work for Justin Beiber and that's why you can't come home for Christmas. But what Christians are told from the very beginning is that they both hold equal weight in God's eye's. 

 

Everyone knows that this man is a pretty solid Christian at least publicly. I've never met him so I don't really know. By saying that he was comparing homosexuality and bestiality, was a complete and total twist of his words. Did you actually read the article?! 

 

Now I'm going to say this, and many of you will find it offensive and I don't care. This whole outcry was an entire overreaction from the Gay and Lesbian Community and supporters. It is drama for the sake of creating drama. You have attacked a man who openly calls himself a Bible thumper because he said something against you're own personal beliefs, so that you can set yourself on a pedestal, and look down upon him. You bullied him. I guarantee he won't condemn you or judge you for it later either.

He also said this on the judgement of people.

http://tv.yahoo.com/blogs/tv-news/-duck-dynasty--star-s-anti-gay-remarks-spark-outrage-134231650.html

"We never, ever judge someone on who's going to heaven, hell. That's the Almighty's job," he told the magazine. "We just love 'em, give 'em the good news about Jesus — whether they're homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort 'em out later, you see what I'm saying?"

Still, Robertson insisted that his family "really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and… everything will turn around."

 

What really annoys me even more about this is the fact that if Mr. Robertson, had instead been an openly gay man, and had made slam against Christians, I truly believe there would have been no repercussion. Because, ya know it's only bullying if you pick on the gay's. Newsflash, Christians can be bullied too. This is however just speculation, but really you hardly ever anyone defend the Christians, and as one, I find that saddening.

 

My advice, the next time you decide to just take what you think the popular opinion will be, especially when it attacks someones personality, looks or beliefs, I suggest you actually read what was written, or do some research.

Top Ten Favorite Carrie Underwood Songs Part 1

So a long time ago I said I would write a top ten Carrie Underwood list well, well I finally finished the first half. It's not long I just kept putting it off. Also in light of recent event's (The Sound of Music) and how unnecessarily mean people were about her performance I wanted to write this little bit to show some support for Carrie. So without further ado I give you part one. Part two to follow tomorrow. I swear.

10 - Jesus Take the Wheel - This is the first song I heard from Carrie Underwood. If you've been listening to her since the beginning, it's probably the first one you heard as well. This is the song that hooked me and made me say "I need to listen to more!" So that, beyond the fact that this song reminds you where you should turn when things are getting tough, is why it makes the top ten for Carrie.

09 - The More Boys I Meet - This song first is just fun, but during some crappy times with guys in my life I would crank this song up to make myself feel better. Because there definitely was a point where I felt this exact way. When the boy and I went through one of our break up stints, and it seemed like every time I met a guy he was a big giant doucher, who only wanted to get in my pants. Which I was 21 and in college, so no big shock right? But I definitely, would always want to cuddle up with my dog Lucky who was back home in PA, but this song cheered me up and made me laugh every time I listened to it.

 

08 - Mama's Song - I admittedly never really listen to this song because I cry every single time. Every. Single. Time. My mom and I have a loving, but complicated relationship. Growing up I was Mama's little girl and never wanted to leave her side. When Thomas and I started dating, things started to become strained, I would pass on some of my immediate family events to go to his family events or to go see him. My priorities were changing, and whether she will admit it or not, that was hard for my mom to deal with. This song came out and I played it for her one night and we listened to it and cried together. My mom drives me nuts sometimes, but she supposed to isn't she? That's the mothers duty! But she will never lose me. And I found what she wanted for me.

07 - I Ain't In Checotah Anymore - I moved from a town much like the one describe in this song. So this one sticks with me, I now live in L.A. and where ever I end up, will be another city. This song to me, also shows a bit of Carrie's personality in her song. Small town girl, who is loving big city life, but misses her roots. That is me in a nutshell. I come from a one stop light town, literally, and some of the things described in this song are exactly how I feel living in LA sometimes. Especially working at the Grove. "You can get anything you want here, except a Walmart store." There is a Walmart here, but you might die if you go to it. I miss the simple things in small town life, but I do love the city.

 

06 - Change - The beginning of this song get's more than anything because this is how I feel every time I see a homeless person in LA. The message in this song just tells you basically how I feel about life. The smallest thing can make a difference. A conversation, a smile, that dime in your pocket can be the difference in someone having even just a hot dog from seven eleven that night. Another reason I love Carrie, she makes songs like this and it shows that she really is a genuine person.

Now I enjoy all of these songs for vastly personal reasons, but I think that is great. I think that as a singer you need to be able to touch your listeners, music should have a message, which is something lacking these days. Plus the girl is a great belter!

3 for Tuesday - John Scott, Hallelujah, Janet talks

1 - WhoisJohnScott.com - So I was on the subway today, and this man get's on and he has the most intriguing sticker on his briefcase. It said WhoIsJohnScott.com. I found this very interesting so earlier this evening I sat down to look at the website and what I found cracked me up. This guy is either a big genius or a big scammer. I'm going to go with genius, because that's nicer. Anyway, he literally just created this whole idea for a business based around finding his identity. People pay one dollar to purchase a Who Is John Scott bumper sticker, his line has expanded to hats, patches and a few other items. I just thought that this was really fun, and cool way for this man in his seventies to make a living. Check the site out here

2 - This Song. Someone was playing it on their guitar in Hollywood tonight, and it was so peaceful and this video is is lovely too.

3 - Janet Talks - So I am extremely blessed in the sense that I LOVE my boyfriends mother. There are so many women out there that are not lucky enough to have the same kind of connection I have with her. Since day one she and I have always clicked. She and I don't talk often but when we do talk it will be for a really long time, tonight's conversation was almost an hour and a half, and it's both talking back and forth to each other which I love, because I am a talker and I love some one who can talk back. Also she is just such an awesome mom in general. My mom isn't around really right now, and it's nice to have that mom figure there. Even though I am at the point in my life where I don't need a mom to tell me what I need to do to figure out my life, sometimes it's nice to have that connection. That's what makes Janet talks so special, I consider her my second mother, but she's also a great friend.

Three things for Yesterday - Titanic, Electric Reindeer, and Once Mid-Season Finale

1 - Titanic - This movie is so wonderfully, brilliantly awful, and fantastic at the same time. It really is the epitome of "chick flick." The dialogue makes me want to smack James Cameron, I mean come on, how many times can Jack and Rose seriously say each others names in the same conversation? The overall story of the movie is very touching, I cry every single time Rose realizes Jack is dead. Also part of the enjoyment of this, is my boyfriend's groaning reaction to me watching it, then laughing at me for crying, I'm also laughing at myself, cause this movie really is bad, but I love it so much! It also inspired me to research Titanic again, just to really know what it's about, and remember that it wasn't just a love gooey love story. It happened.

2 - Electric Reindeer Wine - So I wrote about World Market last week, and how amazing it was. One of my purchases was a cheap wine called Electric Reindeer. Obviously I picked it due to the Christmas theme. To add to my cliche of being a girl last night while was watching Titanic, I decided to have a glass of Red Wine. This is probably the best cheap wine I have ever had! If not for the adverse effects it would have had, I would have had the whole bottle! By adverse I mean, I would have been a drunky pants, and quite frankly I'm not about that these days. But it was actually pretty good, and you could tell it was a cheap wine, which I found charming but, it didn't make me gag. Plus it's a cab. Can't really go wrong there in my mind.

3 - Once Upon a Time Mid Season Finale - Oh. My. Goodness. I had so many feelings, I laughed a few times, I yelled at the screen, and I cried...a lot. Season three of Once has been on the slow side, and the episode 10 of the season was not good. But last night I watched the mid-season finale, and boy oh boy did they redeem themselves. Regina is my favorite character, there is no doubt about that, so in the final scene, when most of the emotional stuff was happening revolved and relied on her story, I was a mess! I'm not going to say too much just in case anyone else watches the show.

So yeah a lot of crying happening yesterday, but all over things that I loved.