Normally on Monday's I try to write about healthy body image but, I'm in Nevada, and am very emotional. More than I have ever been before being here. I've probably cried at least three times since being here, for happy and sad reasons. No one has really seen it, I'm a crier, but I don't typically like to cry in front of people. But the reason I am writing this is because I think, that this has been my favorite trip here so far. Because for several reasons, we have had so much time to just be.
As I have said before, I love my family. All of them and they're all very spread out, so I have to make visits to many places. Every time I go somewhere, we are all trying to make these big plans of what we are going to do, in order to get the most out of the always, short time that we have. This trip was different, and I couldn't have loved it more.
My Gramps is still healing from his lung collapse and will be for awhile, so he has to take it very easy, and he needs someone to watch out for him during the day time. Going into this trip I knew there would be plenty of down time, while I didn't fully realize just how much, I was perfectly fine with it. First, downtime not due to injury was fantastic, second, I got to really just hang out with my aunt and grandparents. I got to just be in the same room as them. With everything that has happened I think that was something I at least, really needed.
The second I got off the plane I was looking around and smiling. When I saw my aunt, and then hugged her it was everything I had to not be the big pile of mush that I am. The joy was just exploding from my heart. If I wouldn't have looked like a fool I would have been dancing all over the place. I almost did.
Most of this trip was sitting around watching TV and taking naps. My aunt and I went out to eat a few times, but this was really just about being in each others company. We had conversation, about random odds and ends, but the feeling I have when with any members of my family (both mine and his) is almost on a spiritual level. We are able to just sit in the same room as each other and feel the love that is so very present. Talk about life, and whatever we are watching. It is truly beautiful.
Making the most out of visits is important, but it doesn't mean that you must be on the go the whole time, trying to create memories. Sometimes the best memories are made when you allow yourself to just be with each other, cherish the time you have, because it always comes to an end, and your regular life has to start again. So while you can, just love on each other, and know that you will see them again soon.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
5 Things for traveling yesterday
I'm in Nevada for an extended weekend. So a few things happy things from yesterday.
1 - Short breakfast dates with the boy - We only went to McDonald's, but I wasn't going to see him before I left for the airport, so we left the house a little earlier than I normally would have. So we got to have good conversation before I went to work.
2 - So many friendly people - This is phenomenon in L.A. As my fiance will tell you that is the thing I struggle with the most. The lack of friendliness in L.A. And maybe it was because I was leaving the city for the weekend so I didn't care as much. But my Uber driver, was a wonderful father of two from Sri Lanka, and our conversation instilled some inspiration in me. Then I was able to strike up conversations several other people, include a two southwest baggage guys, and two people on my flight.
3 - The extreme joy I felt getting off the plane - I think the last time I felt this much sincere joy, was either right after we were engaged. I love being here!
4 - Chloe Clawdashian - This is what my Auntie calls her cat. It's pretty great, this cat has so much personality, and I love that in a kitty. She plays fetch!
5 - Late dinners - My aunt and I headed to Bully's and had a late dinner and caught up on what's been happening in the almost YEAR since I've been here. I will always cherish these moments.
1 - Short breakfast dates with the boy - We only went to McDonald's, but I wasn't going to see him before I left for the airport, so we left the house a little earlier than I normally would have. So we got to have good conversation before I went to work.
2 - So many friendly people - This is phenomenon in L.A. As my fiance will tell you that is the thing I struggle with the most. The lack of friendliness in L.A. And maybe it was because I was leaving the city for the weekend so I didn't care as much. But my Uber driver, was a wonderful father of two from Sri Lanka, and our conversation instilled some inspiration in me. Then I was able to strike up conversations several other people, include a two southwest baggage guys, and two people on my flight.
3 - The extreme joy I felt getting off the plane - I think the last time I felt this much sincere joy, was either right after we were engaged. I love being here!
4 - Chloe Clawdashian - This is what my Auntie calls her cat. It's pretty great, this cat has so much personality, and I love that in a kitty. She plays fetch!
5 - Late dinners - My aunt and I headed to Bully's and had a late dinner and caught up on what's been happening in the almost YEAR since I've been here. I will always cherish these moments.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Body Image Monday - What About the Guys?
Many of the articles you see about body image tend to focus on "the real woman." First off this is crap. We're all real people therefore we are real women. We all struggle and succeed in different and similar ways. Just because you are curvier doesn't give you the right to say you are more real than the skinny girl next to you. But with all of the body image encouragement women give to each other, there seems to be someone we have forgotten. Our gender opposites. The guys.
Yes ladies, believe or not men too struggle with positive body image. When they put on a few pounds, even though they don't show it in the same way we do, they become frustrated and feel down on themselves. Some call themselves fat, just like we do. Men too live in a world where their body expectations are unrealistic. Do you know who the main proprietors of said expectations are? Us.
Now I know some of you will be a bit defensive, and say "well they expect that of us too," except that is the problem. We complain about men's unrealistic expectation of ourselves, but we turn around and do the same thing. Admit it, when you saw the second Thor movie you ogled Chris Hemsworth during that showering bit. I did a little. But I won't lie, I'm glad my guy is not a muscley body builder. I find him extremely attractive as he is.
I have had many conversations with some of my single women friends over the past few weeks about men they were seeing or that they were into. The first thing many of them describe is how he looks, and how built or not built he is. If the man is built, they say "he is super hot, and tall, with huge muscles." If he's a little more on the average side of physicality, "he's okay, but he's very nice." When we describe a man in the second way, it seems like we are defending our reasoning for liking him because he doesn't fit the popular expectation. Now here's my question, why is a guy considered "hot," just because he happens to be built? Just like, why is a woman considered "hot," just because she happens to be skinny? *There should be no standard as to what makes a person beautiful or attractive, everyone is attracted to different things, do not apologize for it.
(*Marks added piece from earlier post.)
Believe it or not, men really are dealing with the same issue we are. They too see magazine covers in stores everyday, of "ripped" men and feel that they have a standard to live up to in order to get or please women. There are cologne ads that tell them, they need to look a certain way in order to find love. The gross truth about our society is that your natural body figure is not accepted no matter what gender you are. This is not to say that guys who are built are ugly, don't get things twisted. But some people just do not have that type of body, plus many of those male models are airbrushed to give them more abs.
It is time that we encourage our male counterparts as well as each other. Let them know that they too, are beautiful (Or handsome, which ever they prefer) as they are. That body builder or not, they do not need to live up to some silly magazine cover, and super hero film expectations to be attractive. That like us, they should strive to be healthy, not perfect.
If someday we all pull together in this, maybe someday we will be able to change the way modeling agencies look at people, and someday stop all of the airbrushing and editing. People in general are beautiful, the computer doesn't need to make it that way.
Check out this Huffpost article about real men posing in underwear ads. I think these guys make just as awesome models as the professionals.
Yes ladies, believe or not men too struggle with positive body image. When they put on a few pounds, even though they don't show it in the same way we do, they become frustrated and feel down on themselves. Some call themselves fat, just like we do. Men too live in a world where their body expectations are unrealistic. Do you know who the main proprietors of said expectations are? Us.
Now I know some of you will be a bit defensive, and say "well they expect that of us too," except that is the problem. We complain about men's unrealistic expectation of ourselves, but we turn around and do the same thing. Admit it, when you saw the second Thor movie you ogled Chris Hemsworth during that showering bit. I did a little. But I won't lie, I'm glad my guy is not a muscley body builder. I find him extremely attractive as he is.
I have had many conversations with some of my single women friends over the past few weeks about men they were seeing or that they were into. The first thing many of them describe is how he looks, and how built or not built he is. If the man is built, they say "he is super hot, and tall, with huge muscles." If he's a little more on the average side of physicality, "he's okay, but he's very nice." When we describe a man in the second way, it seems like we are defending our reasoning for liking him because he doesn't fit the popular expectation. Now here's my question, why is a guy considered "hot," just because he happens to be built? Just like, why is a woman considered "hot," just because she happens to be skinny? *There should be no standard as to what makes a person beautiful or attractive, everyone is attracted to different things, do not apologize for it.
(*Marks added piece from earlier post.)
Believe it or not, men really are dealing with the same issue we are. They too see magazine covers in stores everyday, of "ripped" men and feel that they have a standard to live up to in order to get or please women. There are cologne ads that tell them, they need to look a certain way in order to find love. The gross truth about our society is that your natural body figure is not accepted no matter what gender you are. This is not to say that guys who are built are ugly, don't get things twisted. But some people just do not have that type of body, plus many of those male models are airbrushed to give them more abs.
It is time that we encourage our male counterparts as well as each other. Let them know that they too, are beautiful (Or handsome, which ever they prefer) as they are. That body builder or not, they do not need to live up to some silly magazine cover, and super hero film expectations to be attractive. That like us, they should strive to be healthy, not perfect.
If someday we all pull together in this, maybe someday we will be able to change the way modeling agencies look at people, and someday stop all of the airbrushing and editing. People in general are beautiful, the computer doesn't need to make it that way.
Check out this Huffpost article about real men posing in underwear ads. I think these guys make just as awesome models as the professionals.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
25 Things I Have Learned So Far
As my 25th birthday approaches (in minutes now) I decided to make a short list of the 25 things that I have learned, that I have helped me get this far. I guess you could say the best lesson's I have personally learned. I'm not going to go into detail, but instead let you take them as you will.
1 - The ability to read is a powerful tool, and can take you wonderful places
2 - Sometimes you have to just go for it. There will never be a right time for anything.
3 - Love in any form is the most painful and heartbreaking thing you will ever give, or receive.
4 - Love in any form is the most beautiful thing you will ever give, or receive.
5 - Mom always means the best, even when it doesn't feel that way.
6 - Having the feeling of family is extremely important.
7 - People do not have to be blood to be family.
8 - Friends that are real friends, give just as much as they take.
9 - Having a job that pays well means nothing if you are unhappy, and your health is at risk.
10 - Learning to cook at least basic things, will save you money and is relaxing.
11 - Take your health seriously.
12 - It's okay to be easily entertained, it just means you get to laugh more.
13 - Truly listening to others when they speak will open up your world.
14 - Money can buy a lot of things, but at the end of the day they are still just things.
15 - Pet's are wonderful! If you aren't allergic, get one. They help you see a whole new side of yourself.
16 - Leave your work, at work.
17 - Your parent's are right about many things they said when you were a kid.
18 - Invest in your life. Yes, things are just things, but when buying something spend the extra money on something that will last, rather than the cheaper thing that will break just a few months from now.
19 - Find a way to indulge in art every day. See a movie, read, dance (even if it's by yourself), write...
20 - Keeping your house and space organized, does help you feel happier.
21 - Take time for yourself.
22 - Take time to be with friends.
23 - It is okay to remove people from your life who are toxic. It doesn't make you a bad person.
24 - Don't be afraid open your heart, even if you know it means getting hurt, it will still be worth it later.
25 - Love as much as you can. Give when you can. Laugh whenever you can.
These are the things that I have learned in my life so far. I know I have many more lessons to learn. The most important lesson I've learned, and I talk about it often, is love. You can never give or receive enough of it. So toss it around.
1 - The ability to read is a powerful tool, and can take you wonderful places
2 - Sometimes you have to just go for it. There will never be a right time for anything.
3 - Love in any form is the most painful and heartbreaking thing you will ever give, or receive.
4 - Love in any form is the most beautiful thing you will ever give, or receive.
5 - Mom always means the best, even when it doesn't feel that way.
6 - Having the feeling of family is extremely important.
7 - People do not have to be blood to be family.
8 - Friends that are real friends, give just as much as they take.
9 - Having a job that pays well means nothing if you are unhappy, and your health is at risk.
10 - Learning to cook at least basic things, will save you money and is relaxing.
11 - Take your health seriously.
12 - It's okay to be easily entertained, it just means you get to laugh more.
13 - Truly listening to others when they speak will open up your world.
14 - Money can buy a lot of things, but at the end of the day they are still just things.
15 - Pet's are wonderful! If you aren't allergic, get one. They help you see a whole new side of yourself.
16 - Leave your work, at work.
17 - Your parent's are right about many things they said when you were a kid.
18 - Invest in your life. Yes, things are just things, but when buying something spend the extra money on something that will last, rather than the cheaper thing that will break just a few months from now.
19 - Find a way to indulge in art every day. See a movie, read, dance (even if it's by yourself), write...
20 - Keeping your house and space organized, does help you feel happier.
21 - Take time for yourself.
22 - Take time to be with friends.
23 - It is okay to remove people from your life who are toxic. It doesn't make you a bad person.
24 - Don't be afraid open your heart, even if you know it means getting hurt, it will still be worth it later.
25 - Love as much as you can. Give when you can. Laugh whenever you can.
These are the things that I have learned in my life so far. I know I have many more lessons to learn. The most important lesson I've learned, and I talk about it often, is love. You can never give or receive enough of it. So toss it around.
Monday, August 4, 2014
100 days of Happy
Some days being positive can seem like and extremely difficult task. But as I have said in the past, now matter how bad a day can be there is always one bright light in it.
Many of you I'm sure have seen the #100daysofhappy on instagram by now. Through reading her blog my future sister-in-law and one of her friends have invited people to join them. As well as her cousin. I have decided that I am going to join them as well.
Paige (the cousin) has also added another piece to it. To not only make it about being happy but being more positive in general. This would include resisting the temptation to read, some of those very nasty, negative lists that are so often reposted on people's Facebook walls. I.e. "14 most embarrassing pregnancy photos," or "33 Who Shouldn't be Allowed on the Planet." You get the point. Her idea was to spend more time sharing joy and stories with others. Not judging other incessantly.
So feel free to join us! You can follow my Instagram @bryanadelaney. Let's get positively happy!
Many of you I'm sure have seen the #100daysofhappy on instagram by now. Through reading her blog my future sister-in-law and one of her friends have invited people to join them. As well as her cousin. I have decided that I am going to join them as well.
Paige (the cousin) has also added another piece to it. To not only make it about being happy but being more positive in general. This would include resisting the temptation to read, some of those very nasty, negative lists that are so often reposted on people's Facebook walls. I.e. "14 most embarrassing pregnancy photos," or "33 Who Shouldn't be Allowed on the Planet." You get the point. Her idea was to spend more time sharing joy and stories with others. Not judging other incessantly.
So feel free to join us! You can follow my Instagram @bryanadelaney. Let's get positively happy!
Friday, August 1, 2014
Needing and Loving Family is Okay
The past few weeks, last week especially, have been very difficult. My grandfather was sent to the hospital a few weeks ago with a partially collapsed lung. He was in for two weeks before they finally sent him home. Except that it was too soon. Less than 48 hours later my aunt was calling 911 because he couldn't breath, this time his lung had fully collapsed. I can't go into the rest of the details, because thinking about it sends me to tears, but we almost lost him, more than once.
A week before all of this I had purchased a plane ticket to see my family in the following month. It was everything I had to either not change the ticket, or at one point I was seconds away from buying a Greyhound (and I HATE Greyhound) ticket to leave at 4:00 in the morning. I would have only been there for 9 hours or so, but wasn't about to care. I luckily talked myself out of it.
Being away from my family in a time like this was one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life. What's worse is that for days I almost felt numb. I work at a cupcake shop, so I had to be extra happy and cheerful, when all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, or run to Nevada as fast as I could. One day I was just too angry about the whole situation, so I repeatedly threw a rubber duck at my bathroom wall and cried. No amount of talking about it made me feel better. I wanted him to get better, and I wanted nothing more than hug my grandmother, aunt and cousins.
But an amazing revelation came out of this for me. I love my family, and they are an part of me.
I know you're thinking "well yeah, of course you do. Everyone loves at least some part of their family," and yes that is true. Most people have either blood family or friend they consider family, and yes I have never not loved my family. But let me explain.
For a few years now, I have been struggling with the relationships in my family. Mostly in the family I grew up with. We have a bit of a complicated history, and sometimes I think it skews my view of my family. They are all wonderful people with hearts of gold. My parents raised me with kindness and compassion, while also coming down on us when needed. My siblings while both very different, are very similar in how they treat their friends, and their family. They would do anything, for any one of them. My brother and I are the more outgoing ones and have always been able to easily make friends. My sister while shy, is still immediately loved by so many people. We all fought like crazy as kids, but when push came to shove we loved each other, because there were times when it when it felt like it was just the five of us, and that was all we had. Each other, and our bajillion animals. Now when I'm separated from them, I feel like so much is missing. As I have told both my aunt and grandfather this past week, it's like a piece of my heart just isn't there, something is always missing.
My Nevada family is just as important to me, and while I have only known them for a few years, almost five exactly, when I'm away from them it hurts just as much as when I'm away from my parents and siblings. I am always trying to figure out when the next time I will see my family is. Always.
Now I don't say all of this out of sadness. I say this out of a pure joy that I can say comfortably, that my family does and always will have a big part of my heart. I have tried to deny that part of myself for a very long time. I have tried to convince myself that I was almost a loner (with the exception of the boy). While I love my family and love seeing them, I was convinced I didn't need to make those trips as often as I do. Each member of my family has a part in what has made me the person that I am today, so in that sense they are part of me. In my perfect world my whole family would live in Nevada (Yes Nevada because I don't like Pennsylvania) and I could see them all easily and at the same time. Be quiet, a girl can dream.
The boy is the only person in this world who can make me feel better about missing family. I truly believe that is because the two of us have started our family. To be clear our TWO person family, there are no babies on the way, unless you count guinea pigs. We have begun to form our own family bond and I can't imagine not having him by my side through everything, or me being by his side. I can't wait for our family to grow, even if it's just animals for now.
I know that many people are not as fortunate as I am in this way. While the two major pieces of my family have never met, they are so similar in how they treat people. With never wavering, kindness and love. I am more than happy to say that I grew from that. We may not always agree with each others decisions but the love and support is always there.
Go hug your family. Whether they be friends you call family, or your blood, you need them more than you realize. And ya know something? That's okay. God gave us families for a reason.
A week before all of this I had purchased a plane ticket to see my family in the following month. It was everything I had to either not change the ticket, or at one point I was seconds away from buying a Greyhound (and I HATE Greyhound) ticket to leave at 4:00 in the morning. I would have only been there for 9 hours or so, but wasn't about to care. I luckily talked myself out of it.
Being away from my family in a time like this was one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life. What's worse is that for days I almost felt numb. I work at a cupcake shop, so I had to be extra happy and cheerful, when all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, or run to Nevada as fast as I could. One day I was just too angry about the whole situation, so I repeatedly threw a rubber duck at my bathroom wall and cried. No amount of talking about it made me feel better. I wanted him to get better, and I wanted nothing more than hug my grandmother, aunt and cousins.
But an amazing revelation came out of this for me. I love my family, and they are an part of me.
I know you're thinking "well yeah, of course you do. Everyone loves at least some part of their family," and yes that is true. Most people have either blood family or friend they consider family, and yes I have never not loved my family. But let me explain.
For a few years now, I have been struggling with the relationships in my family. Mostly in the family I grew up with. We have a bit of a complicated history, and sometimes I think it skews my view of my family. They are all wonderful people with hearts of gold. My parents raised me with kindness and compassion, while also coming down on us when needed. My siblings while both very different, are very similar in how they treat their friends, and their family. They would do anything, for any one of them. My brother and I are the more outgoing ones and have always been able to easily make friends. My sister while shy, is still immediately loved by so many people. We all fought like crazy as kids, but when push came to shove we loved each other, because there were times when it when it felt like it was just the five of us, and that was all we had. Each other, and our bajillion animals. Now when I'm separated from them, I feel like so much is missing. As I have told both my aunt and grandfather this past week, it's like a piece of my heart just isn't there, something is always missing.
My Nevada family is just as important to me, and while I have only known them for a few years, almost five exactly, when I'm away from them it hurts just as much as when I'm away from my parents and siblings. I am always trying to figure out when the next time I will see my family is. Always.
Now I don't say all of this out of sadness. I say this out of a pure joy that I can say comfortably, that my family does and always will have a big part of my heart. I have tried to deny that part of myself for a very long time. I have tried to convince myself that I was almost a loner (with the exception of the boy). While I love my family and love seeing them, I was convinced I didn't need to make those trips as often as I do. Each member of my family has a part in what has made me the person that I am today, so in that sense they are part of me. In my perfect world my whole family would live in Nevada (Yes Nevada because I don't like Pennsylvania) and I could see them all easily and at the same time. Be quiet, a girl can dream.
The boy is the only person in this world who can make me feel better about missing family. I truly believe that is because the two of us have started our family. To be clear our TWO person family, there are no babies on the way, unless you count guinea pigs. We have begun to form our own family bond and I can't imagine not having him by my side through everything, or me being by his side. I can't wait for our family to grow, even if it's just animals for now.
I know that many people are not as fortunate as I am in this way. While the two major pieces of my family have never met, they are so similar in how they treat people. With never wavering, kindness and love. I am more than happy to say that I grew from that. We may not always agree with each others decisions but the love and support is always there.
Go hug your family. Whether they be friends you call family, or your blood, you need them more than you realize. And ya know something? That's okay. God gave us families for a reason.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Body Image Monday - You Would Be So Pretty if You Would Just....
"You have great bone structure and would look so nice with a just a little blush."
"You're eyes would really stand out with a good mascara."
"
Or my favorite....
"You are pretty, but if you would just lose ten pounds you would be drop dead gorgeous."
How many times have you had a variation of one of these things said to you? Lost count? Yeah me too. The response in my head usually goes something like this - "Oh that's so ni- hey wait a minute, eff you!" Except I actually say the word in my head, but I want to keep this PG.
Back handed compliments, in these cases are usually given out by well intentioned people, who don't realize what they are saying. You may have even unintentionally given one or two out yourself.
We are a make-up and perfect body (whatever that means) obsessed culture. People, both women and men are always trying to find ways to fix their appearances. Not only that, we are also nit picking at other peoples appearances. Telling people what they should do to make themselves look better, when what we should really be doing is helping each other FEEL better, but more on that later. That's where these backhanded compliments come in.
When I was growing up, it took me a long time to actually give a crap about make-up. My mom tried to get me to wear eyeliner on a regular basis for years. I did not care about it, one tiny bit. I was also a bit of a tom-boy. Then finally one day I did. Then I couldn't not wear it anymore. I felt like I looked less than human without it. When in reality I just looked younger. My mom alway's told me it would bring out my eyes. And she's right it does...because that's what eyeliner does...for everyone. Again she was well intentioned.
Flash forward into my adult years, working in a restaurant. Talking to a friend about how I had started going to the gym. He was already a gym rat so he was giving me tips. Friend then proceeds to tell me that I am very pretty, but as soon as I drop the extra few pounds at the gym I was going to be unstoppable. Also well intentioned.
Here's the thing, when you say these things to people it doesn't actually feel good. What you are actually saying is "When you fix your flaws, you will be beautiful, until then you're just okay." Take a second to think about it. Why is it that when someone loses weight, they automatically become more beautiful (or handsome) than they were before? Do they really? I know plenty of women that are not on the petite scale that are absolutely stunning. How about the person hiding the circles under their eyes with make-up. Really we wouldn't notice that kind of thing if make-up wasn't such a staple in society. Is she really more pretty because she put on some concealer?
A big problem that we have right now is that we find it easier to poke at each others physical flaws rather than help each other emotional well being. Instead of being genuinely interested in how someones week has been, we find ourselves pulled away by the uncovered zit on their forehead. There are more efforts made in giving make-up and weight loss tips, than there are words of love toward one another. That is what needs to be heard more than anything else.
We live in a society full of magazines and televisions shows constantly showing us how much better we can be. It's about time we all embrace the beauty that we already have, without "enhancements." So here is my challenge for the few of you that read this; if you fine yourself nit-picking or scrutinizing someone else or your own appearance, stop and find something that you like. Say it out loud, compliment them, or even yourself in the mirror. Chances are both are already beautiful.
"You're eyes would really stand out with a good mascara."
"
Or my favorite....
"You are pretty, but if you would just lose ten pounds you would be drop dead gorgeous."
How many times have you had a variation of one of these things said to you? Lost count? Yeah me too. The response in my head usually goes something like this - "Oh that's so ni- hey wait a minute, eff you!" Except I actually say the word in my head, but I want to keep this PG.
Back handed compliments, in these cases are usually given out by well intentioned people, who don't realize what they are saying. You may have even unintentionally given one or two out yourself.
We are a make-up and perfect body (whatever that means) obsessed culture. People, both women and men are always trying to find ways to fix their appearances. Not only that, we are also nit picking at other peoples appearances. Telling people what they should do to make themselves look better, when what we should really be doing is helping each other FEEL better, but more on that later. That's where these backhanded compliments come in.
When I was growing up, it took me a long time to actually give a crap about make-up. My mom tried to get me to wear eyeliner on a regular basis for years. I did not care about it, one tiny bit. I was also a bit of a tom-boy. Then finally one day I did. Then I couldn't not wear it anymore. I felt like I looked less than human without it. When in reality I just looked younger. My mom alway's told me it would bring out my eyes. And she's right it does...because that's what eyeliner does...for everyone. Again she was well intentioned.
Flash forward into my adult years, working in a restaurant. Talking to a friend about how I had started going to the gym. He was already a gym rat so he was giving me tips. Friend then proceeds to tell me that I am very pretty, but as soon as I drop the extra few pounds at the gym I was going to be unstoppable. Also well intentioned.
Here's the thing, when you say these things to people it doesn't actually feel good. What you are actually saying is "When you fix your flaws, you will be beautiful, until then you're just okay." Take a second to think about it. Why is it that when someone loses weight, they automatically become more beautiful (or handsome) than they were before? Do they really? I know plenty of women that are not on the petite scale that are absolutely stunning. How about the person hiding the circles under their eyes with make-up. Really we wouldn't notice that kind of thing if make-up wasn't such a staple in society. Is she really more pretty because she put on some concealer?
A big problem that we have right now is that we find it easier to poke at each others physical flaws rather than help each other emotional well being. Instead of being genuinely interested in how someones week has been, we find ourselves pulled away by the uncovered zit on their forehead. There are more efforts made in giving make-up and weight loss tips, than there are words of love toward one another. That is what needs to be heard more than anything else.
We live in a society full of magazines and televisions shows constantly showing us how much better we can be. It's about time we all embrace the beauty that we already have, without "enhancements." So here is my challenge for the few of you that read this; if you fine yourself nit-picking or scrutinizing someone else or your own appearance, stop and find something that you like. Say it out loud, compliment them, or even yourself in the mirror. Chances are both are already beautiful.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Things I loved this past week
The Fiance - This man puts up with a lot of crap from me. I sometimes feel like he has Saint like qualities. I have been sick for the past few weeks and he has done nothing but stay by my side the entire time. Getting me everything I need and sitting with me until I feel better. I am an extremely lucky woman to have this one with me, his support really gets me through some tough stuff. Right now all I want is my family and he has been dealing with a lot of late night talks and emotions because of it. And he never wavers. He is a real trooper! Also he said yes to "Beauty and the Beast" being our first dance song...score...I don't know if that's what we'll actually do, I have multiple ideas for that.
The Lego Movie - Everything is Awesooomme! You need to see this movie. It really is one of the most brilliant kids movies I have ever seen, and it helped pull me out of a slump at least a little bit. If anything see if for Morgan Freeman.
Darla can jump - and she can jump a pretty good distance. It's really impressive actually. While giving her a bath last week, she launched herself out of the sink! Thank goodness the boy had been there or I we would not have a piggie any more.
Letters from Mom - My mother and I have a mildly complicated relationship. But she is one of my favorite people. I have been going through a lot emotionally lately and she wrote a letter that was just perfect for it. I cried of course, but loved it none the less.
I'm going back to school - I applied Santa Monica city college and am going to school for Computer Applications online. I probably will start in September, but I couldn't be more excited!
The Lego Movie - Everything is Awesooomme! You need to see this movie. It really is one of the most brilliant kids movies I have ever seen, and it helped pull me out of a slump at least a little bit. If anything see if for Morgan Freeman.
Darla can jump - and she can jump a pretty good distance. It's really impressive actually. While giving her a bath last week, she launched herself out of the sink! Thank goodness the boy had been there or I we would not have a piggie any more.
Letters from Mom - My mother and I have a mildly complicated relationship. But she is one of my favorite people. I have been going through a lot emotionally lately and she wrote a letter that was just perfect for it. I cried of course, but loved it none the less.
I'm going back to school - I applied Santa Monica city college and am going to school for Computer Applications online. I probably will start in September, but I couldn't be more excited!
Monday, June 16, 2014
Body Image Monday - Being Who You Love to Be, Not Who You "Should" Be
So I've been engaged for about two months now, which is absolutely awesome. I love the man I'm going to marry, there is no question he is my best friend. The wedding isn't going to be for about two years, which we know seems so far, but in another realm it really isn't.
Here's the thing about getting engaged. It involves planning a wedding. I have no idea what I am doing. Hell I've only been to one, maybe two weddings in my life.
Now you're probably thinking "why the heck is she talking about her wedding? What does this have to do with body image?" Right? I'm getting there.
In looking for wedding idea's I am constantly seeing posts by people or businesses telling me what I must do to have successful wedding. For me that makes me want to gag. I pretty much hate it when someone tells me I have to do something, it makes me resist it. Not when it comes to being an adult and being responsible. But for things like, you need to lose 10 pounds to look good on camera...kiss my ass.
All of this wedding stuff made me realize one thing about myself. In life I tend to get caught up in what and who I am told I should be, verses loving who I already am.
Society often dictates that we should, look, dress and feel certain ways all of the time. I often have thoughts that I should be dressing differently when I'm not at work. Maybe I should try to dress up more when I go somewhere with friends? The truth is I am happiest in a pair of shorts/jeans and a t-shirt or tank top. I have plenty of nicer shirts or tank tops that are perfectly acceptable for going out. But so I often I find myself comparing myself to other women. "Oh she's in a dress and heels, maybe I should be doing the same thing, trying harder."
There are certain occasions where I will get dressed up because said occasion calls for it. But the truth is, for a night at the bar, hanging out with friends, or date night, I am most comfortable wearing jeans, and flats or flip flops. The problem is I become self conscious once I see what everyone else is wearing. For the most part I am usually perfectly presentable, but that doesn't stop me from thinking I should be something else, something more.
What this says to me is that I am not fully comfortable with not only how I dress, but who I am in general. I focus that energy into what I should be doing, instead of doing what makes me feel good about myself. I know I am not alone in this, and I think this kind of thing feeds directly into how we view our bodies. "The girl on the cover of Vogues looks like this, so should I," sort of mentality. Or "she's always in nice dresses, and high heels, I should do that too so people take me more seriously." Come on ladies you know you have had these thoughts. If you say you haven't you are probably lying. If you really haven't then good for you! I mean it. I'm sure men struggle with these things as well, but I'm not a man therefore couldn't tell you.
Being comfortable with yourself, your style and your personality is just as important as being comfortable in your body. They all directly feed each other. Our culture has a true love of trying to turn us all into conforming robots. We all need to look like the latest hot celeb in order to feel good about ourselves. That's just not true. We need to embrace ourselves for who we are. Including things or hobbies that you love.
You should not feel the need to make excuses for why you love something. You love because you just do. Sometimes that really is the only excuse. I get really intense during Steeler games. I love Disney everything. Stupid memes, Despicable Me, singing chickens all make me laugh uncontrollably. I love dogs to the point where I squeal almost every time I see one. These are just few traits that I know some people find off putting, but others find it perfectly endearing.
I'm an easily amused, sometimes childish, emotional, loving, almost 25 year old. I am learning to love myself for who I am.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to growth, just so we're clear. But grow in ways that make you uniquely you! Don't change to make someone happy, unless it's something that will benefit your life and will make you truly happy as well. Ways that help you love who you already are, even more.
Here's the thing about getting engaged. It involves planning a wedding. I have no idea what I am doing. Hell I've only been to one, maybe two weddings in my life.
Now you're probably thinking "why the heck is she talking about her wedding? What does this have to do with body image?" Right? I'm getting there.
In looking for wedding idea's I am constantly seeing posts by people or businesses telling me what I must do to have successful wedding. For me that makes me want to gag. I pretty much hate it when someone tells me I have to do something, it makes me resist it. Not when it comes to being an adult and being responsible. But for things like, you need to lose 10 pounds to look good on camera...kiss my ass.
All of this wedding stuff made me realize one thing about myself. In life I tend to get caught up in what and who I am told I should be, verses loving who I already am.
Society often dictates that we should, look, dress and feel certain ways all of the time. I often have thoughts that I should be dressing differently when I'm not at work. Maybe I should try to dress up more when I go somewhere with friends? The truth is I am happiest in a pair of shorts/jeans and a t-shirt or tank top. I have plenty of nicer shirts or tank tops that are perfectly acceptable for going out. But so I often I find myself comparing myself to other women. "Oh she's in a dress and heels, maybe I should be doing the same thing, trying harder."
There are certain occasions where I will get dressed up because said occasion calls for it. But the truth is, for a night at the bar, hanging out with friends, or date night, I am most comfortable wearing jeans, and flats or flip flops. The problem is I become self conscious once I see what everyone else is wearing. For the most part I am usually perfectly presentable, but that doesn't stop me from thinking I should be something else, something more.
What this says to me is that I am not fully comfortable with not only how I dress, but who I am in general. I focus that energy into what I should be doing, instead of doing what makes me feel good about myself. I know I am not alone in this, and I think this kind of thing feeds directly into how we view our bodies. "The girl on the cover of Vogues looks like this, so should I," sort of mentality. Or "she's always in nice dresses, and high heels, I should do that too so people take me more seriously." Come on ladies you know you have had these thoughts. If you say you haven't you are probably lying. If you really haven't then good for you! I mean it. I'm sure men struggle with these things as well, but I'm not a man therefore couldn't tell you.
Being comfortable with yourself, your style and your personality is just as important as being comfortable in your body. They all directly feed each other. Our culture has a true love of trying to turn us all into conforming robots. We all need to look like the latest hot celeb in order to feel good about ourselves. That's just not true. We need to embrace ourselves for who we are. Including things or hobbies that you love.
You should not feel the need to make excuses for why you love something. You love because you just do. Sometimes that really is the only excuse. I get really intense during Steeler games. I love Disney everything. Stupid memes, Despicable Me, singing chickens all make me laugh uncontrollably. I love dogs to the point where I squeal almost every time I see one. These are just few traits that I know some people find off putting, but others find it perfectly endearing.
I'm an easily amused, sometimes childish, emotional, loving, almost 25 year old. I am learning to love myself for who I am.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to growth, just so we're clear. But grow in ways that make you uniquely you! Don't change to make someone happy, unless it's something that will benefit your life and will make you truly happy as well. Ways that help you love who you already are, even more.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Body Image Monday - The Intro
My whole life, or at least since I was a teenager, I have struggled greatly with body image issues. I have never been "big," but there were points where I have carried a little more weight that I would like to. Now I'm fighting back against that mindset, that I continually struggle with. We don't have a scale in our house, and I will probably keep it that way, because sometimes that number can be frightening, even if you look perfectly fine as you are. The number you see on a scale can make distort the image you see in the mirror.
For the majority of the past century our society through the power of media has dictated what should actually be perceived as beautiful, for both men and women. If you don't look like that person on the cover of that magazine, then you aren't doing something right and you should take efforts to fix yourself. That is the message we are being sold. And we buy it, all of us. Because we are told that to be desirable, you have to look like this. Well ya know what? I have belly and my fiance finds me plenty attractive. Oh and even without make-up too!
We spend countless dollars on make-up to hide our flaws. Now I have been very blessed in the skin department. I have great clear skin, the only breaks out every once in awhile. So I know that this is a struggle for many people who have and do have acne, so that I won't comment on. Because, well really I have no right. But for those girls, (and guys) like myself who do have great skin...what the hell are we trying to hide, or amplify. We need to let our beauty speak for itself. Don't get me wrong I love a good lipstick and eye liner, but I personally need to get into the mind set of "I'm doing this because I want to," not because I feel I have to to please everyone around me.
I am all for exercise and clean eating, it does make you feel better, and if your body type needs it, will help you lose weight, or in some cases gain it. I'm also for gussing up using make-up, but not as a life force.
My goal from here on out is for Monday's to be Body Image Monday's. If you have a particular issue you would like to see be discussed let me know. Or a person you think should be spotlit for their efforts for healthy body image, tell me about them. This is a fight we are all in together. Things are getting better, but we all can strive for a little more appreciation for how beautiful people truly are.
So for today, celebrate your body. If you're naturally thin, curvy, whatever your body type. Love yourself, it's the only one you get!
For the majority of the past century our society through the power of media has dictated what should actually be perceived as beautiful, for both men and women. If you don't look like that person on the cover of that magazine, then you aren't doing something right and you should take efforts to fix yourself. That is the message we are being sold. And we buy it, all of us. Because we are told that to be desirable, you have to look like this. Well ya know what? I have belly and my fiance finds me plenty attractive. Oh and even without make-up too!
We spend countless dollars on make-up to hide our flaws. Now I have been very blessed in the skin department. I have great clear skin, the only breaks out every once in awhile. So I know that this is a struggle for many people who have and do have acne, so that I won't comment on. Because, well really I have no right. But for those girls, (and guys) like myself who do have great skin...what the hell are we trying to hide, or amplify. We need to let our beauty speak for itself. Don't get me wrong I love a good lipstick and eye liner, but I personally need to get into the mind set of "I'm doing this because I want to," not because I feel I have to to please everyone around me.
I am all for exercise and clean eating, it does make you feel better, and if your body type needs it, will help you lose weight, or in some cases gain it. I'm also for gussing up using make-up, but not as a life force.
My goal from here on out is for Monday's to be Body Image Monday's. If you have a particular issue you would like to see be discussed let me know. Or a person you think should be spotlit for their efforts for healthy body image, tell me about them. This is a fight we are all in together. Things are getting better, but we all can strive for a little more appreciation for how beautiful people truly are.
So for today, celebrate your body. If you're naturally thin, curvy, whatever your body type. Love yourself, it's the only one you get!
Sunday, May 4, 2014
We're Engaged!
Ok so I stayed off of here this past week, because I have a big mouth! It was really hard for me to keep this a secret...but we're engaged! And really could not be happier! So this weeks highlights are going to be based around engagementy stuff.
1 - Talking to Barbara right after she was told - Her reaction has easily been then best, I am so excited to get to talk wedding stuff with her. Because one, I am clueless, I mean I have ideas and a handy dandy planner but, I have no clue how this works. Also she is officially going to be my sister (in-law) and that makes me even more excited.
2 - My sisters minor panic - My little sister will be my maid of honor. When I called her earlier this week just to talk in general, she was having some what of an anxiety, not necessarily in a bad way, so it was cute. She, like me, has no clue how this will all go down, but we're sisters so we will learn together.
3 - Slowly announcing it at work - I work in a cupcake shop, with a bunch of women, so naturally there was going to be a reaction. The two that I'm closest too freaked out, and it was great.
4 - The ring - The ring was originally his mothers, so when he proposed, it didn't exactly fit. So we had to get it sized. It is now on my finger and looks gorgeous. It meant so much to me that his mother gave him this ring to give to me. Janet and I are very close. I sometimes hear stories about women who don't get a long with their mother-in-law and I love that it is just the opposite with her. She is an amazing woman and mother, so to know that she once wore this ring means the world to me.
5 - Announcing it on Facebook - Holy cow! I did not see that coming. We had a huge out-pouring of love and congratulations from people. It was slightly overwhelming. Personally with our history I think a lot of people, that we went to college with were just excited to see our relationship becoming officially forever.
6 - Engagement Bliss - Is there such a thing? If there is we are definitely in it, and are taking full advantage of this time right now. In a few months we will have to start planning a wedding. So it's nice that for now, we can just be a newly engaged, happy couple.
Thank you to everyone that has given us support this week, and over the crazy years of our relationship. Not everyone gets to meet there person, by the time they are 17, and 19 but I feel so blessed that we are one of those. I love the family that I am officially joining and can't wait for the wedding (in 2+ years) to celebrate!
Sunday, April 27, 2014
4 Things today
My Boy's fries - The boyfriend has recently perfected the art of making french fries at home. Seriously, I think I will compare every fry I eat now to his fries. He really makes the best. Also he's cute so that helps too!
Girl Talk - Our friends Cait and Jewcy came over to hang out, and I got to be super girl with Cait which was awesome. I'm not always an overly girly person, but I do love the chances I get to gush over pretty and cutesy things. All girls need some pink in their life right?
Being lazy - We had a bunch of goals for the day. Wanna know how many we accomplished? One. I cleaned the bathroom. Which way too much bleach. But that was enough for me to feel like an adult so we quit and decided to just talk to people all day. It really has been a pretty perfect day.
Mr. Sunshine - If you have never seen this show you should order the special DVD right now. It is so funny. And I am very angry and ABC for cancelling it! I don't know why I didn't watch it when it came out. Alison Janney with Matthew Perry = comedic excellence.
Girl Talk - Our friends Cait and Jewcy came over to hang out, and I got to be super girl with Cait which was awesome. I'm not always an overly girly person, but I do love the chances I get to gush over pretty and cutesy things. All girls need some pink in their life right?
Being lazy - We had a bunch of goals for the day. Wanna know how many we accomplished? One. I cleaned the bathroom. Which way too much bleach. But that was enough for me to feel like an adult so we quit and decided to just talk to people all day. It really has been a pretty perfect day.
Mr. Sunshine - If you have never seen this show you should order the special DVD right now. It is so funny. And I am very angry and ABC for cancelling it! I don't know why I didn't watch it when it came out. Alison Janney with Matthew Perry = comedic excellence.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
3 Months later I'm back!
So I've been gone for awhile...a little over two months. I've been trying to write a new blog for a few weeks now to explain why, but I've decided to not do that. I'll explain in two sentences.
Someone I loved as a friend hurt me greatly, I no longer associate with that person. I see no reason to blast them on the internet and delve deeper into it, but rather focus on moving forward.
That past few months have been amazing to say the least. So lets talk about the good things that have happened since then.
1 - Towards the End of January we (the boy and I) went to see his sister and her hubby in San Francisco. Now yes we've done these visits before, but this was the last time we would spend there. As always we had a great time, and saw jellyfish. And may or may not have seen a whale or two. I'm gonna go with not.
2 - My baby brother came to visit LA! It was amazing! I was so excited to see him, since I hadn't seen him in a year. And now he is off to the airforce. Military is kind of a thing with my family. We got to see Cirque du Soleil - Totem, which was one of the scariest and most stunning things I have ever seen in my life. Then unfortunately Los Angeles decided that winter was here and rained for the rest of his trip. But we ordered Chinese and made the best of it. And he got to have Cheesecake Factory for the first time, on his last day. Then we flew back home together.
3 - I WENT HOME! - For the first time in a year and a half I went to Pennsylvania, and it was great. There were some tricks to it. One being that where my family lives does not have Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Healthy food was hard. But my mom and I became much closer during this trip. We really became friends. The best part was hanging out with my nephew, who is one of the smartest two year old's I have ever met. And now he is in love with Journey's Don't Stop Believing, because I sang it to him to go to sleep. He also likes Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid. So my sister had to learn that too. I'm the best aunt ever.
Oh the glory of Sheetz coffee. I you've never had it, you have never lived!
I got to be there for my brothers Air Force send off! I cried, as I did many times while I was home. I'm the emotional one. It's a fact.
4 - The AHA shoot - I did my first photo shoot ever, about a week after I came back from PA. I was terrified going into it, but it was worth it. We got some great shots out of it, and now I know what to expect when I get my headshots done.
Now that I'm back I am going to try my best to post at least once a day, even if it's something small. I want this blog to follow my journey into becoming an actress, and beam out positivity. I know I am happier, when I see others are happy as well. I hope that I can do the same for someone else.
Someone I loved as a friend hurt me greatly, I no longer associate with that person. I see no reason to blast them on the internet and delve deeper into it, but rather focus on moving forward.
That past few months have been amazing to say the least. So lets talk about the good things that have happened since then.
1 - Towards the End of January we (the boy and I) went to see his sister and her hubby in San Francisco. Now yes we've done these visits before, but this was the last time we would spend there. As always we had a great time, and saw jellyfish. And may or may not have seen a whale or two. I'm gonna go with not.
2 - My baby brother came to visit LA! It was amazing! I was so excited to see him, since I hadn't seen him in a year. And now he is off to the airforce. Military is kind of a thing with my family. We got to see Cirque du Soleil - Totem, which was one of the scariest and most stunning things I have ever seen in my life. Then unfortunately Los Angeles decided that winter was here and rained for the rest of his trip. But we ordered Chinese and made the best of it. And he got to have Cheesecake Factory for the first time, on his last day. Then we flew back home together.
3 - I WENT HOME! - For the first time in a year and a half I went to Pennsylvania, and it was great. There were some tricks to it. One being that where my family lives does not have Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Healthy food was hard. But my mom and I became much closer during this trip. We really became friends. The best part was hanging out with my nephew, who is one of the smartest two year old's I have ever met. And now he is in love with Journey's Don't Stop Believing, because I sang it to him to go to sleep. He also likes Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid. So my sister had to learn that too. I'm the best aunt ever.
I got to be there for my brothers Air Force send off! I cried, as I did many times while I was home. I'm the emotional one. It's a fact.
4 - The AHA shoot - I did my first photo shoot ever, about a week after I came back from PA. I was terrified going into it, but it was worth it. We got some great shots out of it, and now I know what to expect when I get my headshots done.
Now that I'm back I am going to try my best to post at least once a day, even if it's something small. I want this blog to follow my journey into becoming an actress, and beam out positivity. I know I am happier, when I see others are happy as well. I hope that I can do the same for someone else.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Clowns and lentils
1 - Going to work to find out girl went to clown school - This girl Kat that I work with went to Clown School, I mean what? I just found that completely awesome
2 - Cooking something new - I was sent home early from work because we were slow. I was a little bummed out about it as some one who lives paycheck to paycheck, but this enabled me to go home and make dinner and not just have to eat salad. I made curried lentil soup and it is so bomb diggity! I could have eaten it forever so, so good. And it was my first time trying lentils, it was a pretty big win.
2 - Cooking something new - I was sent home early from work because we were slow. I was a little bummed out about it as some one who lives paycheck to paycheck, but this enabled me to go home and make dinner and not just have to eat salad. I made curried lentil soup and it is so bomb diggity! I could have eaten it forever so, so good. And it was my first time trying lentils, it was a pretty big win.
For Monday, because I didn't get this done until 1:00 a.m.ish
As part of the reformation and figuring this blog out, I will not be doing 3 Things. It bothers me. But rather I will just be making note of positive things in my day, and it will need to be everyday as I become better at this. So some days maybe I will have three, some days I bet I'll have ten! Just a reminder that I can be thankful for the little things in life too.
1 - Thomas the movie kid - My roommate and I went to a movie tonight and I was having the hardest time trying to decide what to get. This whole being healthy thing is hard. So I pretty much said screw it, I wanted and Icee (which I will never have again), candy, and popcorn! I just drank a ton of water when I came home. But upon trying to decide Thomas the Movie Kid hooked me up , with an Icee and a half, candy and more popcorn than I could handle. I was pretty impressed.
2 - Kasee's return - I didn't realize how much I missed her until she came home! Maybe it's because she laughs at me a lot? But also she's a pretty awesome friend, she saw a movie twice for me!
3- Saving Mr. Banks - Okay I am 24 years old and I LOVE Disney. I was a little afraid this movie would make me dislike Walt Disney (even though the man was kind of disillusioned), therefore making me like Disney less, but I really loved this movie. Emma Thompson is a goddess, her character is so unbelievably real, I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her. A beautiful film. I know that the ending is not quite what it was supposed to be, but come one peeps, this is Hollywood, and this was a Disney movie, it was going to have a happy ending.
4 - Singing Randomly in the street - So being the Disney dork that I am, I started singing to Kasee as we were standing on the street waiting for the bus. I was singing Under the Sea, and not quietly I might add. Kasee chimed in with some of the instrumentals, I'm pretty sure people thought we were drunk, but no, honestly just embracing life. Lately, even with the on set of some people leaving my life, I have acquired a zeal for life again, and this was showing it I think. I'm becoming less afraid to be me.
1 - Thomas the movie kid - My roommate and I went to a movie tonight and I was having the hardest time trying to decide what to get. This whole being healthy thing is hard. So I pretty much said screw it, I wanted and Icee (which I will never have again), candy, and popcorn! I just drank a ton of water when I came home. But upon trying to decide Thomas the Movie Kid hooked me up , with an Icee and a half, candy and more popcorn than I could handle. I was pretty impressed.
2 - Kasee's return - I didn't realize how much I missed her until she came home! Maybe it's because she laughs at me a lot? But also she's a pretty awesome friend, she saw a movie twice for me!
3- Saving Mr. Banks - Okay I am 24 years old and I LOVE Disney. I was a little afraid this movie would make me dislike Walt Disney (even though the man was kind of disillusioned), therefore making me like Disney less, but I really loved this movie. Emma Thompson is a goddess, her character is so unbelievably real, I wanted to reach through the screen and hug her. A beautiful film. I know that the ending is not quite what it was supposed to be, but come one peeps, this is Hollywood, and this was a Disney movie, it was going to have a happy ending.
4 - Singing Randomly in the street - So being the Disney dork that I am, I started singing to Kasee as we were standing on the street waiting for the bus. I was singing Under the Sea, and not quietly I might add. Kasee chimed in with some of the instrumentals, I'm pretty sure people thought we were drunk, but no, honestly just embracing life. Lately, even with the on set of some people leaving my life, I have acquired a zeal for life again, and this was showing it I think. I'm becoming less afraid to be me.
Monday, January 13, 2014
4 Things from Yesterday
1 - Songza - Another one of those music sites/apps that that you can customize the radio station. Except that when you log on it will show what time of day it is, then will suggest a mood setting such as, cleaning, or relaxing, or party time. It was surprisingly spot on, and introduced me to some new music and brought up some fun old songs. I'm still a big fan of my Phil Collins Pandora station though.
2 - Spicy Spaghetti - So I am on a clean eating kick, hopefully permanently, with one day a week where I can be bad a little bad of course, so that I can still enjoy life. Anyway...yesterday I made myself some spaghetti for dinner. I know what you're thinking, "how on earth did you make that clean?" Actually pretty easy, organic products, and veggies only. Follow food combining rules, and don't use cheese. Best spaghetti I've ever had in my life.
3 - Surprising Janet - My boyfriends amazing mother came to visit, and we decided to go to the airport and meet her there as a surprise. It almost didn't work out, because usually her flights are late, or delayed or something silly. This time it was fifteen half hour early! Thomas and I were still on the shuttle to the airport at that point. We were able to tell her just minutes before we saw her that we were that we were there, and she was excited to see us at the airport so it all worked out.
4 - JANET! - I love this woman! I call her mom most of the time, because I do consider her my mother, as much as I do my own mother. She is a pillar of strength and wisdom and she has taught me so much in my life, in the six plus years that I have known her. She has an unbelievable amount of patience and love for others, which is something that I hope to gain, and am working on, so I really admire her. I love it when she gets to visit us. It's usually a very short trip, but I really enjoy it when she is here. And now that she can stay with us I'm looking forward to many more visits.
2 - Spicy Spaghetti - So I am on a clean eating kick, hopefully permanently, with one day a week where I can be bad a little bad of course, so that I can still enjoy life. Anyway...yesterday I made myself some spaghetti for dinner. I know what you're thinking, "how on earth did you make that clean?" Actually pretty easy, organic products, and veggies only. Follow food combining rules, and don't use cheese. Best spaghetti I've ever had in my life.
3 - Surprising Janet - My boyfriends amazing mother came to visit, and we decided to go to the airport and meet her there as a surprise. It almost didn't work out, because usually her flights are late, or delayed or something silly. This time it was fifteen half hour early! Thomas and I were still on the shuttle to the airport at that point. We were able to tell her just minutes before we saw her that we were that we were there, and she was excited to see us at the airport so it all worked out.
4 - JANET! - I love this woman! I call her mom most of the time, because I do consider her my mother, as much as I do my own mother. She is a pillar of strength and wisdom and she has taught me so much in my life, in the six plus years that I have known her. She has an unbelievable amount of patience and love for others, which is something that I hope to gain, and am working on, so I really admire her. I love it when she gets to visit us. It's usually a very short trip, but I really enjoy it when she is here. And now that she can stay with us I'm looking forward to many more visits.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Insecurities with learning
Okay so I could chalk up the lack of posting to being busy with work, which I am, but that's just not the case. This past week I all of the sudden became very insecure about the blog, wasn't sure which direction I was going to take it. I am now realizing that I am silly at that this blogging thing is a learning experience. I need to take the time to really grasp what I want to talk about here.
I really enjoy sharing my three things. I think it keeps me positive, and I think that it's a good tool for everyone to use. But I would also like to write about things that are important to me, so that maybe someone, somewhere would gain something from what I've written about. So while I really think it's going to take me some discipline I am going to add some segments. Like talking about the movie that I watched that week (btw last week was Forrest Gump), and my food adventures, and my fandoms, or discussing bullying, which is a subject the wrenches my heart. So bear with me here folks, and watch as it all comes together! The blog will live up to its name, because this process will be one day at a time.
With all that said three things this week:
1 - The Hobbit - I enjoy the Tolkien movies, I really do. While they are very long, they are stories that are full of adventure, and magic (which is almost a requirement for me). The second Hobbit film does not disappoint. It feels a bit slow at the start but it is worth the slow uphill until you get to the action, because then the movie just fly's. The boyfriend and I have started making a thing, that we see these movies together. I would say more stuff about it but, I'm afraid I will give things away, in case you haven't seen it or read the book.
2 - Forrest Gump - This was my one new movie last week and I am in love with it! It is so beautiful. I think this story show's what I want to try to live my life with. Unconditional love, and openness. Yes I understand that Forrest was a mentally challenged man, but he had not barriers on who he could love. Why can't "normal" people be that way? Why can't the rest of us just openly accept others without cause, and be able to forgive those that have hurt us. We would live much more peacefully.
3 - The Bag of Pride - Today in my line at the cupcake shop, a woman as for a bag. I pulled one out and flipped it open with one hand. Like a dork and said "Oh yeah" Kool-aid man style, the woman chuckled at me. I told her I was proud of myself sometimes. Her immediate response was "you should be proud of yourself all of the time. Life is tough, but you get up every day and you face it head on, so yeah be proud of yourself!" Made my week.
I really enjoy sharing my three things. I think it keeps me positive, and I think that it's a good tool for everyone to use. But I would also like to write about things that are important to me, so that maybe someone, somewhere would gain something from what I've written about. So while I really think it's going to take me some discipline I am going to add some segments. Like talking about the movie that I watched that week (btw last week was Forrest Gump), and my food adventures, and my fandoms, or discussing bullying, which is a subject the wrenches my heart. So bear with me here folks, and watch as it all comes together! The blog will live up to its name, because this process will be one day at a time.
With all that said three things this week:
1 - The Hobbit - I enjoy the Tolkien movies, I really do. While they are very long, they are stories that are full of adventure, and magic (which is almost a requirement for me). The second Hobbit film does not disappoint. It feels a bit slow at the start but it is worth the slow uphill until you get to the action, because then the movie just fly's. The boyfriend and I have started making a thing, that we see these movies together. I would say more stuff about it but, I'm afraid I will give things away, in case you haven't seen it or read the book.
2 - Forrest Gump - This was my one new movie last week and I am in love with it! It is so beautiful. I think this story show's what I want to try to live my life with. Unconditional love, and openness. Yes I understand that Forrest was a mentally challenged man, but he had not barriers on who he could love. Why can't "normal" people be that way? Why can't the rest of us just openly accept others without cause, and be able to forgive those that have hurt us. We would live much more peacefully.
3 - The Bag of Pride - Today in my line at the cupcake shop, a woman as for a bag. I pulled one out and flipped it open with one hand. Like a dork and said "Oh yeah" Kool-aid man style, the woman chuckled at me. I told her I was proud of myself sometimes. Her immediate response was "you should be proud of yourself all of the time. Life is tough, but you get up every day and you face it head on, so yeah be proud of yourself!" Made my week.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Inspiration for the day
I know I haven't blogged this week, will be getting back to it tomorrow. Just wanted to share this quote tonight.
"With enough parsing of the details, we are all originals, and seeing someone's unique qualities just illuminates what a miracle they are. How can you not love someone once you see just how weird they really are?" - Barbara Alfeo
This is my boyfriends sister. Check out her blog here.
"With enough parsing of the details, we are all originals, and seeing someone's unique qualities just illuminates what a miracle they are. How can you not love someone once you see just how weird they really are?" - Barbara Alfeo
This is my boyfriends sister. Check out her blog here.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
3 Things New Years Eve Edition
1 - The joy of no cable - we did not get to see a ball drop due to the fact that we don't have cable so Thomas pulled up a streaming of the New York Ball drop on his computer, that kept deciding it wasn't going to work. So we decided to ignore our phones and computers for a minute...or two and rang in New Years a little late! But we kissed and toasted and that's what counts! Seriously Our count down went from 10, 7, 3, 2, 1 it was great.
2 - Jewcy and Cait - One of my favorite couples in the world, that we don't see enough of, came over for New Years Eve. We were in tears laughing for many parts of the night and there were just six of us. Having them there to ring in a late dysfunctional New Years warmed my heart so much!
3 - Vegetarian Buffalo Dip - I actually tried two new recipes for New Years, as Jewcy is a vegetarian, I wanted to make sure I had something appropriate for him. I love buffalo chicken dip, and search for something simple and non meaty and this stuff was out of this world good! The potatoes I made were good too, but I couldn't stop eating this stuff! This will probably be my dish of choice when we got to parties from here on out.
2 - Jewcy and Cait - One of my favorite couples in the world, that we don't see enough of, came over for New Years Eve. We were in tears laughing for many parts of the night and there were just six of us. Having them there to ring in a late dysfunctional New Years warmed my heart so much!
3 - Vegetarian Buffalo Dip - I actually tried two new recipes for New Years, as Jewcy is a vegetarian, I wanted to make sure I had something appropriate for him. I love buffalo chicken dip, and search for something simple and non meaty and this stuff was out of this world good! The potatoes I made were good too, but I couldn't stop eating this stuff! This will probably be my dish of choice when we got to parties from here on out.
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