Body Positive - Taking Care of Yourself

In the past I have posted a spot on this blog geared to positive body image, and it was usually posted on Monday's. Hence Body Image Monday's was born. Well, I work in the food service industry and will not always be able to guarantee my schedule. So, we're just gonna call this section Body Positive, and it will hopefully be posted at least once a week.

Okay, as many of you know, I have struggled with having a positive image of the body I have for pretty much my whole life. In the past with this section I have talked about ways to help with that way of thinking. Including taking a month off of wearing make-up (which I may do again), discussing body shaming in the media, and posting my own swimsuit picture. One thing I haven't really discussed is the fact that having positive body image also means, you love and care about your body enough to take care of it.

Now, weight and BMI don't mean that much to me. However, I am currently at the heaviest weight I have ever been in my life. Now, there are several life circumstances that fell into play here including a long standing injury in which I never bounced back from weight and strength wise. Mostly due to just not knowing where to start. Then we moved cross country. I allowed finances and stress, to take hold of my eating habits, I should technically be eating wheat free, if not completely gluten free, and was a vegetarian when I moved. The drastic change in my once pretty healthy lifestyle caused me to gain at least 12 lbs since moving and I have been beating myself up every day without making the effort to change it.

Now I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, or to get you to scold me. This is a moment of being honest with myself. I love to cook, and I love making up random concoctions in the kitchen. I've made things like apple and cauliflower rice stuffed peppers, and spicy mango puree stir-fry. Somewhere in the midst of all the stress I lost sight of that, and started eating ramen and more fast food than I care to admit.

Through all of this I have also lost a lot of confidence in myself physically. The weight does not help, no. But as I've said in the past, it's just a number and size does not make a person beautiful. I have been eating so badly, and that has caused me to feel physically sick and tired pretty much since we moved. And being sick all of the time can lead to depression, something I already struggle with. With depression usually comes some pretty negative thoughts about yourself.

Within the last two weeks or so I have been making the effort to eat at least a little better than I have been. Just trying to make more meals and make better choices when eating out. My stomach loves me for it. But also when I do eat better, I feel better. When I feel better physically, I start to feel more confident in myself.

What I'm getting at here is that creating positive body image is not just about being able to look at yourself and say "hey you know what, screw the media, I am gorgeous!" That's part of it. But another big part of it, is that you have to love yourself enough to take care of your body they way it deserves to be taken care of. That means eating a healthy balanced diet, and exercising. Whatever that means for you, everyone is different. Do you hear me? Everyone is DIFFERENT. Nothing will work exactly the same for two people. Changes don't have to be all at once. Start by adding a few more veggies or fruits into your diet, or by making green smoothies! Take a 20 minute walk every day and add on 5 to 10 minutes every week. Whatever gets you started. Love yourself enough to take care of the body you were given, and do it in way that works for you.

Yes, for me there were circumstances that put a halt to my taking care of my body. But I'm ready to get back to changing that now. My refrigerator has more fresh veggies in it now than it has seen since before I moved, I quit smoking, and I'm starting to walk more. Starting Saturday I plan to start a 30 day yoga challenge for beginners. As a way to keep me motivated, through that challenge I plan to share with you at least once a week how my body is feeling, any changes that I recognize, and tips I find for myself. Also, as requested by my two best friends for ages now, I will actually start creating recipes for some of the random things I have made up.

I'm not a nutritionist, but if I find something that is helpful I will share it. If you want to join me in the doing 30 days of yoga this is the girl I'm using. I find her super relaxing and she really explains what is going on. And if you need more inspiration, follow Healthy is the New Skinny on Instagram! Can't wait to see the positive changes that are to come!



P.S. If there is a body image issue you would like discussed on this blog, please let me know!

Hello all!

Yes, yes I know. I have been gone for an extremely long time again. No excuses, because in reality I have plenty of those. Anyway I have been struggling with how to start this all up again, so I have just put it off for months and months. Well sometimes the best way to start to something is to just do it and go from there. So, that's what I'm doing.

A little about what has been going on. We moved! After struggling for a long time in Los Angeles, we made the decision to move back to Pennsylvania. I am extremely happy about it. I miss my LA friends a ton, but I am really happy with where we have ended up. I am still trying to get comfortable in a job situation. I tried banking...yeah...not for me. Not for me at all.

We got a dog! His name is Gus-Gus Galavant Greene, and he is a fireball! I love this maniac to pieces. When we moved we ended up having to get rid of our beloved guinea pigs, Darla and Lola. That was a rough day, because my animals are like my kids to me. If you think I'm exaggerating, you do not know me at all. I will be an overbearing mother to a human child one day. But for now I am an overbearing puppy mama.

The boy is actually in job that he really likes, which is probably the biggest blessing of all. And we finally set a wedding date! December 10th y'all!

Me? Like I said I tried banking, and it was so not for me. I am currently serving, which I like, but physically it is taking it's toll on me so, we will see what comes next. I am also currently attending a Catholic church for the first time in my life, and really enjoying it! I am considering going through the RCIA process, but more on that later.

While I was living in LA I was pretty regularly maintaining a healthy gluten free, vegetarian diet. After we moved, expenses were high and I was unable to eat the way I needed to. And now the whole eating gluten thing (because I'm really not supposed to) especially is catching back up with me in big ways. So I'm gonna work on stopping that again. Since moving I have gained an easy 10 pounds. Now I'm not a big scale person, and weight shouldn't matter as long as you are healthy, but I have not been healthy. I've been sick most of the winter with illness and loads of digestive issues, especially lately. So body image Monday's are coming back, and we're gonna talk about how having good body image also means taking care of yourself.

Also, in stealing from my future sister-in-law I will do my version of 3 Things. P.S. if you have checked out her blog, you should. sunshineguerilla.blogspot.com. She shares loads of inspirational things and ideas to help make our world a better place.

Again with this blog who knows what will come of it. It's mainly an outlet for me, and if you enjoy reading it that makes me happy too! Okay friends lets see what happens.

Thought for the day - Just be nice to everyone. Even if they're jerks, it takes more energy to be a jerk back.

28 Awesome Things About My All-Time Favorite Person

28 years ago today a super awesome thing happened. My best friend and favorite person on earth was born! So I decided that in honor that I would give you a list of 28 awesome things about him. Note: There are way more than 28 awesome things, but he's turning 28, hence why the number has been chosen.

28 - Passion for film - If you claim to be friends with this guy and don't know that he has a huge passion for film, then you are a liar. He loves movies, and can tell you all kinds of random facts about different films and the actors. He has definitely opened up my movie world a lot since we met. He can hold a pretty solid debate as to why he does or does not like a specific film, something that I think is rare and awesome

27 - His ability to put up with my crazy-ass - This alone is enough for me to love him. I'm an emotional mess of a person, I mean I cry at pictures of puppies because they are so cute. But no matter how my craziness comes out, he always knows how to just go with the flow and make me see the light, if you will.

26 - Best hugger - I don't think many will debate me on this. A hug from Thomas is one of the most comforting bear hugs you will ever receive. Having a bad? Give him a call and tell him you need a hug.

25 - He knows what he likes - Make no mistake this man knows what he does and does not like. He gets a lot of flack from myself and his family for his food choices, but as it turns out he's the healthiest one of all of us.  If he does not like something he is not going to eat it, watch it, participate in it. On the other hand if he really likes something he wants everyone else to know because he knows it makes him happy and he wants to share it with everyone, which is always a good quality!

24 - How excited he gets over anything to do with Felix - Our nephew Felix was born in November of last year, and boy does this uncle LOVE his nephew. He proudly shows off photos that he has on his phone and computer to everyone who will take a look. And he should Felix is the cutest. While he hasn't been around him too much he is also really great with our 4 year old nephew Avery. Every time Avery is on Skype now, he wants to know where Uncle Thomas is.

23 - His nostalgia for things from childhood - Whenever we come across something either at Amoeba or on the internet, that was something he loved from childhood he gets crazy happy, it's adorable. I love it when he shows me something that he loved as a kid.

22 - Protective nature - He is very protective of those that he loves. If someone hurts someone that he loves, you can be sure that he is going to have something to say about it. He's told me stories, I wouldn't piss him off.

21 - His romanticism - When we got together, and for years after, Thomas used to tell me that he didn't know how to be romantic. He was wrong. He may be the most romantic person I've ever met, but then again I'm biased. My 20th birthday was absolute proof of that. I am a very lucky woman to have met a man who has such a big romantic side to him.

20 - Great listener - If you need to vent, this is who you go to. Most of the time he will just let you talk so that you can get things off of your chest, then he'll give you a hug. Sometimes that's all you really need.

19 - Ability to get zoned into a video game - The boy loves video games. Sometimes when he is playing his games, he get so into the zone that you have to say his name 3 or 4 times, louder each time to get him out of it. Some people might find this annoying, I think it's pretty cute because it's something he loves to do.

18 - Doting on our piggies - Last year I called him when I was on the way home from work and informed him that I was on the way home with a guinea pig. I knew he like animals but I had never seen him own one, so I was unsure as to how he would take to them. We now have two and it's safe to say that he loves our little piggies just as much as I do. Our little Lola loves him the most because she gets to chew on his beard.

17 - Enjoys Gordan Ramsay - Enough said.

16 - His best friend is his sister - Thomas and Barbara have a pretty much have one of the best sibling relationships that I've ever seen. They are extremely close and love it when they actually get to spend time together.

15 - Smarty Pants - Incredibly smart and knowledgeable about so many things. Sometimes he surprises me. He knows a lot about architecture which I always find fascinating.

14 - Knowing what it takes to cheer someone he loves up - if you are sad, and you are someone Thomas likes, he will do whatever he can to cheer you up. In the case of myself it's usually showing me tons of pictures of adorable puppies romping in fields or something like that.

13 - A big love bug, who pretends he isn't - Thomas tends to have pretty hard exterior. Once you get to know him, you realize that he is actually a teddy bear, hence the epic hugs. Don't get me wrong he's a pretty tough dude, but he is also one of the most cuddly, caring and loving people I have ever met. While he pretends he doesn't, he actually does like most people.

12 - He's hilarious - Spend two minutes in a room with him. He is funny. And if something isn't funny, he can usually make it funny.

11 - Does his best to pitch in. - It is rare that I have to ask him to do something around the house. Because it's usually already done. I have heard many people complain about their significant other not being willing to pitch in around the house, but I am pretty lucky in that sense. We have a pretty good system when it comes to the cleaning. He's the best organizer around, and I usually handle most of the dusting and surface things. Thomas is a human version of Tetris.

10 - Is pretty handy (because I am not at all) - He can fix things. I cannot. He actually gets use out of the tool box his mom bought us when we moved in together.

09 - His uncanny ability to fall asleep in the weirdest places - While he tends to have some pretty tough issues with insomnia, when he's ready to sleep, this man can sleep anywhere. That is some sort of magic skill. He has been known to fall asleep on rocks.

08 - Amazing with kids - As the person who is marrying him, I love how much he loves kids, and how much they love him. I'll never forget us going to the beach one day and these two little boys decided that he was awesome because they kept throwing their toy cars into the hole they dug in the sand, and Thomas kept getting them for him. He thought it was hilarious.

07 - Solid Work Ethic - Thomas has a had string of jobs that he really has not enjoyed. At each one though he has always put in his full effort to help the place run smoothly. If someone can put their all into a job they don't like, then what kind of work will they do for something they do like? He is with out a doubt one of the hardest workers I have ever met.

06 - He makes amazing french fries - Last year he taught himself how to make french fries at home, and they are the best french fries ever!

05 - Epic DVD collection - Seriously someday we could open a video rental store with how many DVDs he has. He loves them, and keeps track of them in a very well organized spreadsheet, that includes information like the director, and genre I believe. Over 1700 DVDs!!!

04 - He gives no crap about gender roles - We like to joke that in our relationship I'm the guy. Strictly because out of the two of us, I am the one who will be watching the Sunday football game, and drinking beer.

03 - He's talented - He can write, sing, and act and he's not too shabby drawing either. He is a multi-talented human being and that makes him a force to be reckoned with.

02 - Ability to make killer CD's - This must be a Greene trait, but he makes different mixes and CD's. He's only one CD for me personally, which is an awesome playlist, but he has made other playlists for driving which I always enjoyed when we were home.

01 - He's the best friend that anybody can have - Thomas is a very loyal and loving friend. He will love you until you give him a reason not to. Even then he will still fight to keep the friendship alive for as long as he can. If a friend is in need of help is one of the first to be willing to show up and lend a hand. He loves his friends and his family more than anything.

Here's to you Thomas Prescott Greene, for being the best french fry eater and maker, for loving film and film culture, for being an amazing friend, brother and uncle and for always being unapologetically you. I'm so glad you picked me to be your future wifey! I love you more than I can ever tell you, and am so glad you were born! Happy Birthday!!!

Body Image Monday - Healthy is the New Skinny

Haven't written one of these in forever! I am excited and slightly anxious for this post. This is a post I have thought about doing for well over a year but have finally mustered up to courage to do so.

In my past blogs I have spoken about loving your body. I think I've talked more about being comfortable enough to just not wear make-up than anything else. But positive body image is so much more than that, you need to be comfortable with your whole self.

Healthy is the New Skinny is a company that is dedicated to encouraging women to love the body they are in by promoting self love. They even have a sweatshirt that reads "operating on self-love." The intent is to show woman that your size and scale number does not matter. The important thing is to love yourself enough to take care of yourself the best way that you can. This includes eating healthily and exercising. But they strive to point out that every human body is different (and that BMI scales are essentially bullshit), and are working towards a goal of getting our media to start sharing this too.

I started following their Instagram account last year. I don't always look at Instagram everyday, but every time I do this is the first account I check. I love the inspiration behind it. I will talk a lot about body positivity, but I am extremely self conscious when it comes to my weight. The other day I put on a dress and it was a little shorter than something I wear on a regular basis. I must have asked my fiance 3 or 4 times before leaving the house if it looked like it was too much. I had shorts underneath and everything was covered, but that didn't matter, and it didn't matter that I looked damn adorable in it either.

Throughout the day I kept thinking people were judging me, when in reality it was all just me. Me being completely self conscious over the only body that I have. Stressing so much that I could barely enjoy my day.

Now I'm not a big person by any means, but I'm also not a tiny person (not including height here) either. I do the best that I can to take care of myself. I try to eat good, healthy, nutrient packed meals and walk when I can. December through April this year I was off work due to an injury sustained on the job, and I gained quite a bit of weight. While I think I've lost some of it, it doesn't stop me from over-analyzing that extra pudge on my belly.

Cut to summer time. I love bikini's, and  I have always loved to wear them. I enjoy trying to get as much sun as possible (don't worry sunscreen is worn!). But I would never let someone post a picture of me in one, and this year in an effort to cover up the weight I had gained while being on leave, I bought a tankini to cover up the offensive extra 10 pounds. Don't get me wrong the swimsuit is cute. But I got it for all the wrong reasons. I bought the swimsuit so as not to risk "offending" others while I'm hanging out at the pool. In reality the only person I was hurting was myself.

I was denying myself an relaxing time laying in the sun by the pool simply because I was afraid of something that I had very little control over. Like I said before I try my best to take care of myself, the best that I know how. There are new lessons every day. Why should I be afraid to put on my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bikini because I am afraid of judgement. Screw that I want my stomach to just as much of a tan as my upper body has!

Finally, I had the boy take this picture yesterday. Why? Because I wanted finally show the world that this is what I look like in a bikini. I am definitely afraid of putting this out there, but I wanted say "hey! This is me. This is my body and I am still learning to love it for everything that it is."

Because life is too short not to enjoy the skin you're in. Because I want girls and women everywhere to embrace their own beauty.

Wanna join me? Throw on your favorite swimsuit (doesn't have to be a bikini) and post it Instagram with the hashtag #girlgang and #healthyisthenewskinny, and join the movement.

Name Change

Hello all! So I've made a few changes. I truly apologize to those of you that do read this blog that I have been horrible about writing. Truth be told up until about April it was painful for me to spend any significant period of time typing. And by significant I mean anything longer than 5 minutes. After that I was feeling pretty lost with the blog because I had written in so long, and I really haven't been sure of the direction I wanted to take things.

 I enjoy writing about the positive happenings from my weeks or days, and promoting positive body image. Recently, some of my friends have suggested that I start a food blog (I make up a lot of random recipes). I am also slightly in love with anything that has to do with fairy tales, and I find most kids movies funnier than most adult movies. Occasionally, when something in the world gets to me I like to speak my piece on it. So, with those pieces of information in mind I decided that I basically wanted to keep things the same, but I wanted/needed the name to reflect me a little more. 

I believe that hope, along with love, are two of the strongest things we have. That no matter how tough life seems to be, true hope will keep you moving towards whatever it is you are working for. Whether that be a new job, a health goal, or something as simple as properly placing that thumb tack to hold up your calendar.

I am going to try this whole blogging thing again. The posts will be similar to the one's I've posted before, but I hope to fearlessly show you my true self the best that I can through the interwebs.

14 Things I Am Grateful for in 2014

Hello Blogworld! I started this in December and haven't spent a whole lot of time typing on my computer for the last six months.  I've become extremely lazy with this, also been I've working on a stupid neck and shoulder injury, but that's another story. So with that I thought I would like to bring back the 3 Things, that I initially stole from my future sister-in-law, and start if off with the 14 things I am grateful for in 2014, in no particular order.

1 - We're Engaged - Thomas proposed to me on on April 21 of  last year. I was completely shocked, when he asked and could not be more excited to spend the rest of my life with this guy. Your significant other does not necessarily have to be your best friend, but he is mine, and I am excited for the adventures to come.

2 - Felix - My future sister and brother-in-law had their first baby in November, and I could not be more excited. I still haven't met him, but I know I will get to and I can't wait to snuggle that child until he's sick of me. So far I have seen he is one of the most chill babies on the planet.

3 - Going Home - After over a year and half, I got to go home in March of last year. It was a two week visit, and it was very nice. However, being there also solidified that, while Pennsylvania will always be a nice visit for me, but I am perfectly okay never living there again. I always miss my family, but we are so good and staying connected to each other via phone that it doesn't hurt quite so much anymore.

4 - Guinea Pigs - We adopted our first pets this year. Darla and Lola, our guinea pigs. We ended up getting more than we bargained for with them, but they are so much fun. They each have two vastly different personalities, and they have helped me out in more ways than you would think a little rodent ever could.

5 - Holidays with Friends - As we have every year for the past few years, we hosted big Thanksgiving dinner in our apartment. I am always exhausted by the end of it, but it is becoming my favorite day of the year. Our friends Cait and Jewcy hosted a Christmas at their house this year, which was awesome. One it was awesome not having to do much on a holiday, as an adult I'm learning that spending the holidays with friends is more than okay. I'm looking forward to future Christmas's with our friends.

6 - My Grandfather Surviving - In July we nearly lost my grandfather twice. I am very close to him, my aunt, and my grandmother. It was a scary time, but that man is a beast. He pulled through a very difficult situation, and is still with us today. I could not be more thankful for that.

7 - Tough Times as a couple - August started a very rough few months for us, especially financially. I was injured on the job and was in and out of the doctors, and was constantly leaving work early due to severe pain. He was laid of at the end of the month. But through it we realized as a couple how little material things meant to us. At the end of each day we still manage to keep ourselves fed, a roof over our heads, and we have each other. No matter what we can make it.

8 - My brother visiting/then joining the air force - My baby brother was the first of my family members to visit me last year and it was awesome. He wanted to make sure he spent time with me before he went to the airforce so he flew out to LA to visit me, and we flew home together. Siblings are the coolest sometimes.

9 - Coming to an understanding in my own personal faith - This a long story, that may be placed better in it's own blog. For years I have been trying to fully for what exactly it is that I believe. I've known I've believed and God and Jesus, but trying to to follow the way I felt like I was told to was very difficult for me. I have come to terms with how I want to handle it and I am grateful for that. My relationship with God is better than anyone telling me how it should be.

10 - Making the push for acting - While I had to cancel it due to injury I did get an LA Casting account. I was submitting for auditions. Even though I am on hold for right now, it felt really good to finally do it.

11 - Chris moving to LA - A good friend that I had done several shows with in Pennsylvania, made a fairly unplanned move to Los Angeles. I was needless to say selfishly ecstatic. He now lives 15 minutes away from me! Yay Chris!

12 - Staying in a day job for more than a year with no intentions of leaving - I am still at the cupcake place and I still enjoy it. There is only one job I would even consider leaving it for. But the people are wonderful and the company is a legitimately wonderful company!

13 - Became more comfortable with my body - I still have a long way to go with this. However, I have become much more accepting of my self. I am a relatively small person in stature, but I will never be a size two. Never. And that is okay. I want to try to create new projects with  my friends, in order to put all body types out there. I have a few projects up my sleeve to help with that.

14 - My apartment complex - I really like my apartment. They are doing amazing renovations. And it's rent controlled. So basically we are going to stay here forever.

Okay I will try to be better, and start in with Body Image Monday's again. But it happens when it happens. If there is anything in particular you think I should talk about, comment below and we'll see if we can make it happen! Good luck for the next 11 months of 2015 y'all.

Taking Time to Just Be Together

Normally on Monday's I try to write about healthy body image but, I'm in Nevada, and am very emotional. More than I have ever been before being here. I've probably cried at least three times since being here, for happy and sad reasons. No one has really seen it, I'm a crier, but I don't typically like to cry in front of people. But the reason I am writing this is because I think, that this has been my favorite trip here so far. Because for several reasons, we have had so much time to just be.

As I have said before, I love my family. All of them and they're all very spread out, so I have to make visits to many places. Every time I go somewhere, we are all trying to make these big plans of what we are going to do, in order to get the most out of the always, short time that we have. This trip was different, and I couldn't have loved it more.

My Gramps is still healing from his lung collapse and will be for awhile, so he has to take it very easy, and he needs someone to watch out for him during the day time. Going into this trip I knew there would be plenty of down time, while I didn't fully realize just how much, I was perfectly fine with it. First, downtime not due to injury was fantastic, second, I got to really just hang out with my aunt and grandparents. I got to just be in the same room as them. With everything that has happened I think that was something I at least, really needed.

The second I got off the plane I was looking around and smiling. When I saw my aunt, and then hugged her it was everything I had to not be the big pile of mush that I am. The joy was just exploding from my heart. If I wouldn't have looked like a fool I would have been dancing all over the place. I almost did.

Most of this trip was sitting around watching TV and taking naps. My aunt and I went out to eat a few times, but this was really just about being in each others company. We had conversation, about random odds and ends, but the feeling I have when with any members of my family (both mine and his) is almost on a spiritual level. We are able to just sit in the same room as each other and feel the love that is so very present. Talk about life, and whatever we are watching. It is truly beautiful.

Making the most out of visits is important, but it doesn't mean that you must be on the go the whole time, trying to create memories. Sometimes the best memories are made when you allow yourself to just be with each other, cherish the time you have, because it always comes to an end, and your regular life has to start again. So while you can, just love on each other, and know that you will see them again soon.

5 Things for traveling yesterday

I'm in Nevada for an extended weekend. So a few things happy things from yesterday.

1 - Short breakfast dates with the boy - We only went to McDonald's, but I wasn't going to see him before I left for the airport, so we left the house a little earlier than I normally would have. So we got to have good conversation before I went to work.

2 - So many friendly people - This is phenomenon in L.A. As my fiance will tell you that is the thing I struggle with the most. The lack of friendliness in L.A. And maybe it was because I was leaving the city for the weekend so I didn't care as much. But my Uber driver, was a wonderful father of two from Sri Lanka, and our conversation instilled some inspiration in me. Then I was able to strike up conversations several other people, include a two southwest baggage guys, and two people on my flight.

3 - The extreme joy I felt getting off the plane - I think the last time I felt this much sincere joy, was either right after we were engaged. I love being here!

4 - Chloe Clawdashian - This is what my Auntie calls her cat. It's pretty great, this cat has so much personality, and I love that in a kitty. She plays fetch!

5 - Late dinners - My aunt and I headed to Bully's and had a late dinner and caught up on what's been happening in the almost YEAR since I've been here. I will always cherish these moments.

Body Image Monday - What About the Guys?

Many of the articles you see about body image tend to focus on "the real woman." First off this is crap. We're all real people therefore we are real women. We all struggle and succeed in different and similar ways. Just because you are curvier doesn't give you the right to say you are more real than the skinny girl next to you. But with all of the body image encouragement women give to each other, there seems to be someone we have forgotten. Our gender opposites. The guys.

Yes ladies, believe or not men too struggle with positive body image. When they put on a few pounds, even though they don't show it in the same way we do, they become frustrated and feel down on themselves. Some call themselves fat, just like we do. Men too live in a world where their body expectations are unrealistic. Do you know who the main proprietors of said expectations are? Us.

Now I know some of you will be a bit defensive, and say "well they expect that of us too," except that is the problem. We complain about men's unrealistic expectation of ourselves, but we turn around and do the same thing. Admit it, when you saw the second Thor movie you ogled Chris Hemsworth during that showering bit. I did a little. But I won't lie, I'm glad my guy is not a muscley body builder. I find him extremely attractive as he is.

I have had many conversations with some of my single women friends over the past few weeks about men they were seeing or that they were into. The first thing many of them describe is how he looks, and how built or not built he is. If the man is built, they say "he is super hot, and tall, with huge muscles." If he's a little more on the average side of physicality, "he's okay, but he's very nice." When we describe a man in the second way, it seems like we are defending our reasoning for liking him because he doesn't fit the popular expectation. Now here's my question, why is a guy considered "hot," just because he happens to be built? Just like, why is a woman considered "hot," just because she happens to be skinny? *There should be no standard as to what makes a person beautiful or attractive, everyone is attracted to different things, do not apologize for it.

(*Marks added piece from earlier post.)

Believe it or not, men really are dealing with the same issue we are. They too see magazine covers in stores everyday, of "ripped" men and feel that they have a standard to live up to in order to get or please women. There are cologne ads that tell them, they need to look a certain way in order to find love. The gross truth about our society is that your natural body figure is not accepted no matter what gender you are. This is not to say that guys who are built are ugly, don't get things twisted. But some people just do not have that type of body, plus many of those male models are airbrushed to give them more abs.

It is time that we encourage our male counterparts as well as each other. Let them know that they too, are beautiful (Or handsome, which ever they prefer) as they are. That body builder or not, they do not need to live up to some silly magazine cover, and super hero film expectations to be attractive. That like us, they should strive to be healthy, not perfect.

If someday we all pull together in this, maybe someday we will be able to change the way modeling agencies look at people, and someday stop all of the airbrushing and editing. People in general are beautiful, the computer doesn't need to make it that way.

Check out this Huffpost article about real men posing in underwear ads. I think these guys make just as awesome models as the professionals.

25 Things I Have Learned So Far

As my 25th birthday approaches (in minutes now) I decided to make a short list of the 25 things that I have learned, that I have helped me get this far. I guess you could say the best lesson's I have personally learned. I'm not going to go into detail, but instead let you take them as you will.

1 - The ability to read is a powerful tool, and can take you wonderful places
2 - Sometimes you have to just go for it. There will never be a right time for anything.
3 - Love in any form is the most painful and heartbreaking thing you will ever give, or receive.
4 - Love in any form is the most beautiful thing you will ever give, or receive.
5 - Mom always means the best, even when it doesn't feel that way.
6 - Having the feeling of family is extremely important.
7 - People do not have to be blood to be family.
8 - Friends that are real friends, give just as much as they take.
9 - Having a job that pays well means nothing if you are unhappy, and your health is at risk.
10 - Learning to cook at least basic things, will save you money and is relaxing.
11 - Take your health seriously.
12 - It's okay to be easily entertained, it just means you get to laugh more.
13 - Truly listening to others when they speak will open up your world.
14 - Money can buy a lot of things, but at the end of the day they are still just things.
15 - Pet's are wonderful! If you aren't allergic, get one. They help you see a whole new side of yourself.
16 - Leave your work, at work.
17 - Your parent's are right about many things they said when you were a kid.
18 - Invest in your life. Yes, things are just things, but when buying something spend the extra money on something that will last, rather than the cheaper thing that will break just a few months from now.
19 - Find a way to indulge in art every day. See a movie, read, dance (even if it's by yourself), write...
20 - Keeping your house and space organized, does help you feel happier.
21 - Take time for yourself.
22 - Take time to be with friends.
23 - It is okay to remove people from your life who are toxic. It doesn't make you a bad person.
24 - Don't be afraid open your heart, even if you know it means getting hurt, it will still be worth it later.
25 - Love as much as you can. Give when you can. Laugh whenever you can.

These are the things that I have learned in my life so far. I know I have many more lessons to learn. The most important lesson I've learned, and I talk about it often, is love. You can never give or receive enough of it. So toss it around.

100 days of Happy

Some days being positive can seem like and extremely difficult task. But as I have said in the past, now matter how bad a day can be there is always one bright light in it. 

Many of you I'm sure have seen the #100daysofhappy on instagram by now. Through reading her blog my future sister-in-law and one of her friends have invited people to join them. As well as her cousin. I have decided that I am going to join them as well.

Paige (the cousin) has also added another piece to it. To not only make it about being happy but being more positive in general. This would include resisting the temptation to read, some of those very nasty, negative lists that are so often reposted on people's Facebook walls. I.e. "14 most embarrassing pregnancy photos," or "33 Who Shouldn't be Allowed on the Planet." You get the point. Her idea was to spend more time sharing joy and stories with others. Not judging other incessantly.

So feel free to join us! You can follow my Instagram @bryanadelaney. Let's get positively happy!

Needing and Loving Family is Okay

The past few weeks, last week especially, have been very difficult. My grandfather was sent to the hospital a few weeks ago with a partially collapsed lung. He was in for two weeks before they finally sent him home. Except that it was too soon. Less than 48 hours later my aunt was calling 911 because he couldn't breath, this time his lung had fully collapsed. I can't go into the rest of the details, because thinking about it sends me to tears, but we almost lost him, more than once.

A week before all of this I had purchased a plane ticket to see my family in the following month. It was everything I had to either not change the ticket, or at one point I was seconds away from buying a Greyhound (and I HATE Greyhound) ticket to leave at 4:00  in the morning. I would have only been there for 9 hours or so, but wasn't about to care. I luckily talked myself out of it.

Being away from my family in a time like this was one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life. What's worse is that for days I almost felt numb. I work at a cupcake shop, so I had to be extra happy and cheerful, when all I wanted to do was crawl into my bed, or run to Nevada as fast as I could. One day I was just too angry about the whole situation, so I repeatedly threw a rubber duck at my bathroom wall and cried. No amount of talking about it made me feel better. I wanted him to get better, and I wanted nothing more than hug my grandmother, aunt and cousins.

But an amazing revelation came out of this for me. I love my family, and they are an part of me.

I know you're thinking  "well yeah, of course you do. Everyone loves at least some part of their family," and yes that is true. Most people have either blood family or friend they consider family, and yes I have never not loved my family. But let me explain.

For a few years now, I have been struggling with the relationships in my family. Mostly in the family I grew up with. We have a bit of a complicated history, and sometimes I think it skews my view of my family. They are all wonderful people with hearts of gold. My parents raised me with kindness and compassion, while also coming down on us when needed. My siblings while both very different, are very similar in how they treat their friends, and their family. They would do anything, for any one of them. My brother and I are the more outgoing ones and have always been able to easily make friends. My sister while shy, is still immediately loved by so many people. We all fought like crazy as kids, but when push came to shove we loved each other, because there were times when it when it felt like it was just the five of us, and that was all we had. Each other, and our bajillion animals. Now when I'm separated from them, I feel like so much is missing. As I have told both my aunt and grandfather this past week, it's like a piece of my heart just isn't there, something is always missing.

My Nevada family is just as important to me, and while I have only known them for a few years, almost five exactly, when I'm away from them it hurts just as much as when I'm away from my parents and siblings. I am always trying to figure out when the next time I will see my family is. Always.

Now I don't say all of this out of sadness. I say this out of a pure joy that I can say comfortably, that my family does and always will have a big part of my heart. I have tried to deny that part of myself for a very long time. I have tried to convince myself that I was almost a loner (with the exception of the boy). While I love my family and love seeing them, I was convinced I didn't need to make those trips as often as I do. Each member of my family has a part in what has made me the person that I am today, so in that sense they are part of me. In my perfect world my whole family would live in Nevada (Yes Nevada because I don't like Pennsylvania) and I could see them all easily and at the same time. Be quiet, a girl can dream.

The boy is the only person in this world who can make me feel better about missing family. I truly believe that is because the two of us have started our family. To be clear our TWO person family, there are no babies on the way, unless you count guinea pigs. We have begun to form our own family bond and I can't imagine not having him by my side through everything, or me being by his side. I can't wait for our family to grow, even if it's just animals for now.


I know that many people are not as fortunate as I am in this way. While the two major pieces of my family have never met, they are so similar in how they treat people. With never wavering, kindness and love. I am more than happy to say that I grew from that. We may not always agree with each others decisions but the love and support is always there.

Go hug your family. Whether they be friends you call family, or your blood, you need them more than you realize. And ya know something? That's okay. God gave us families for a reason.

Body Image Monday - You Would Be So Pretty if You Would Just....

"You have great bone structure and would look so nice with a just a little blush."
"You're eyes would really stand out with a good mascara."
"

Or my favorite....

"You are pretty, but if you would just lose ten pounds you would be drop dead gorgeous."

How many times have you had a variation of one of these things said to you? Lost count? Yeah me too. The response in my head usually goes something like this - "Oh that's so ni- hey wait a minute, eff you!" Except I actually say the word in my head, but I want to keep this PG.

Back handed compliments, in these cases are usually given out by well intentioned people, who don't realize what they are saying. You may have even unintentionally given one or two out yourself.

We are a make-up and perfect body (whatever that means) obsessed culture. People, both women and men are always trying to find ways to fix their appearances. Not only that, we are also nit picking at other peoples appearances. Telling people what they should do to make themselves look better, when what we should really be doing is helping each other FEEL better, but more on that later. That's where these backhanded compliments come in.

When I was growing up, it took me a long time to actually give a crap about make-up. My mom tried to get me to wear eyeliner on a regular basis for years. I did not care about it, one tiny bit. I was also a bit of a tom-boy. Then finally one day I did. Then I couldn't not wear it anymore. I felt like I looked less than human without it. When in reality I just looked younger. My mom alway's told me it would bring out my eyes. And she's right it does...because that's what eyeliner does...for everyone. Again she was well intentioned.

Flash forward into my adult years, working in a restaurant. Talking to a friend about how I had started going to the gym. He was already a gym rat so he was giving me tips. Friend then proceeds to tell me that I am very pretty, but as soon as I drop the extra few pounds at the gym I was going to be unstoppable. Also well intentioned.

Here's the thing, when you say these things to people it doesn't actually feel good. What you are actually saying is "When you fix your flaws, you will be beautiful, until then you're just okay." Take a second to think about it. Why is it that when someone loses weight, they automatically become more beautiful (or handsome) than they were before? Do they really? I know plenty of women that are not on the petite scale that are absolutely stunning. How about the person hiding the circles under their eyes with make-up. Really we wouldn't notice that kind of thing if make-up wasn't such a staple in society. Is she really more pretty because she put on some concealer?

A big problem that we have right now is that we find it easier to poke at each others physical flaws rather than help each other emotional well being. Instead of being genuinely interested in how someones week has been, we find ourselves pulled away by the uncovered zit on their forehead. There are more efforts made in giving make-up and weight loss tips, than there are words of love toward one another. That is what needs to be heard more than anything else.

We live in a society full of magazines and televisions shows constantly showing us how much better we can be. It's about time we all embrace the beauty that we already have, without "enhancements." So here is my challenge for the few of you that read this; if you fine yourself nit-picking or scrutinizing someone else or your own appearance, stop and find something that you like. Say it out loud, compliment them, or even yourself in the mirror. Chances are both are already beautiful.

Things I loved this past week

The Fiance - This man puts up with a lot of crap from me. I sometimes feel like he has Saint like qualities. I have been sick for the past few weeks and he has done nothing but stay by my side the entire time. Getting me everything I need and sitting with me until I feel better. I am an extremely lucky woman to have this one with me, his support really gets me through some tough stuff. Right now all I want is my family and he has been dealing with a lot of late night talks and emotions because of it. And he never wavers. He is a real trooper! Also he said yes to "Beauty and the Beast" being our first dance song...score...I don't know if that's what we'll actually do, I have multiple ideas for that.

The Lego Movie - Everything is Awesooomme! You need to see this movie. It really is one of the most brilliant kids movies I have ever seen, and it helped pull me out of a slump at least a little bit. If anything see if for Morgan Freeman.

Darla can jump - and she can jump a pretty good distance. It's really impressive actually. While giving her a bath last week, she launched herself out of the sink! Thank goodness the boy had been there or I we would not have a piggie any more.

Letters from Mom - My mother and I have a mildly complicated relationship. But she is one of my favorite people. I have been going through a lot emotionally lately and she wrote a letter that was just perfect for it. I cried of course, but loved it none the less.

I'm going back to school - I applied Santa Monica city college and am going to school for Computer Applications online. I probably will start in September, but I couldn't be more excited!

Body Image Monday - Being Who You Love to Be, Not Who You "Should" Be

So I've been engaged for about two months now, which is absolutely awesome. I love the man I'm going to marry, there is no question he is my best friend. The wedding isn't going to be for about two years, which we know seems so far, but in another realm it really isn't.

Here's the thing about getting engaged. It involves planning a wedding. I have no idea what I am doing. Hell I've only been to one, maybe two weddings in my life.

Now you're probably thinking "why the heck is she talking about her wedding? What does this have to do with body image?" Right? I'm getting there.

In looking for wedding idea's I am constantly seeing posts by people or businesses telling me what I must do to have successful wedding. For me that makes me want to gag. I pretty much hate it when someone tells me I have to do something, it makes me resist it. Not when it comes to being an adult and being responsible. But for things like, you need to lose 10 pounds to look good on camera...kiss my ass.

All of this wedding stuff made me realize one thing about myself. In life I tend to get caught up in what and who I am told I should be, verses loving who I already am.

Society often dictates that we should, look, dress and feel certain ways all of the time. I often have thoughts that I should be dressing differently when I'm not at work. Maybe I should try to dress up more when I go somewhere with friends? The truth is I am happiest in a pair of shorts/jeans and a t-shirt or tank top. I have plenty of nicer shirts or tank tops that are perfectly acceptable for going out. But so I often I find myself comparing myself to other women. "Oh she's in a dress and heels, maybe I should be doing the same thing, trying harder."

There are certain occasions where I will get dressed up because said occasion calls for it. But the truth is, for a night at the bar, hanging out with friends, or date night, I am most comfortable wearing jeans, and flats or flip flops. The problem is I become self conscious once I see what everyone else is wearing. For the most part I am usually perfectly presentable, but that doesn't stop me from thinking I should be something else, something more.

What this says to me is that I am not fully comfortable with not only how I dress, but who I am in general. I focus that energy into what I should be doing, instead of doing what makes me feel good about myself. I know I am not alone in this, and I think this kind of thing feeds directly into how we view our bodies. "The girl on the cover of Vogues looks like this, so should I,"  sort of mentality. Or "she's always in nice dresses, and high heels, I should do that too so people take me more seriously." Come on ladies you know you have had these thoughts. If you say you haven't you are probably lying. If you really haven't then good for you! I mean it. I'm sure men struggle with these things as well, but I'm not a man therefore couldn't tell you.

Being comfortable with yourself, your style and your personality is just as important as being comfortable in your body. They all directly feed each other. Our culture has a true love of trying to turn us all into conforming robots. We all need to look like the latest hot celeb in order to feel good about ourselves. That's just not true. We need to embrace ourselves for who we are. Including things or hobbies that you love.

You should not feel the need to make excuses for why you love something. You love because you just do. Sometimes that really is the only excuse. I get really intense during Steeler games. I love Disney everything. Stupid memes, Despicable Me, singing chickens all make me laugh uncontrollably. I love dogs to the point where I squeal almost every time I see one. These are just  few traits that I know some people find off putting, but others find it perfectly endearing.

I'm an easily amused, sometimes childish, emotional, loving, almost 25 year old. I am learning to love myself for who I am.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to growth, just so we're clear. But grow in ways that make you uniquely you! Don't change to make someone happy, unless it's something that will benefit your life and will make you truly happy as well. Ways that help you love who you already are, even more.

Body Image Monday - The Intro

My whole life, or at least since I was a teenager, I have struggled greatly with body image issues. I have never been "big," but there were points where I have carried a little more weight that I would like to. Now I'm fighting back against that mindset, that I continually struggle with. We don't have a scale in our house, and I will probably keep it that way, because sometimes that number can be frightening, even if you look perfectly fine as  you are. The number you see on a scale can make distort the image you see in the mirror.

For the majority of the past century our society through the power of media has dictated what should actually be perceived as beautiful, for both men and women. If you don't look like that person on the cover of that magazine, then you aren't doing something right and you should take efforts to fix yourself. That is the message we are being sold. And we buy it, all of us. Because we are told that to be desirable, you have to look like this. Well ya know what? I have belly and my fiance finds me plenty attractive. Oh and even without make-up too!

We spend countless dollars on make-up to hide our flaws. Now I have been very blessed in the skin department. I have great clear skin, the only breaks out every once in awhile. So I know that this is a struggle for many people who have and do have acne, so that I won't comment on. Because, well really I have no right. But for those girls, (and guys) like myself who do have great skin...what the hell are we trying to hide, or amplify. We need to let our beauty speak for itself. Don't get me wrong I love a good lipstick and eye liner, but I personally need to get into the mind set of "I'm doing this because I want to," not because I feel I have to to please everyone around me.

I am all for exercise and clean eating, it does make you feel better, and if your body type needs it, will help you lose weight, or in some cases gain it. I'm also for gussing up using make-up, but not as a life force.

My goal from here on out is for Monday's to be Body Image Monday's. If you have a particular issue you would like to see be discussed let me know. Or a person you think should be spotlit for their efforts for healthy body image, tell me about them. This is a fight we are all in together. Things are getting better, but we all can strive for a little more appreciation for how beautiful people truly are.

So for today, celebrate your body. If you're naturally thin, curvy, whatever your body type. Love yourself, it's the only one you get!

We're Engaged!

Ok so I stayed off of here this past week, because I have a big mouth! It was really hard for me to keep this a secret...but we're engaged! And really could not be happier! So this weeks highlights are going to be based around engagementy stuff.

1 - Talking to Barbara right after she was told - Her reaction has easily been then best, I am so excited to get to talk wedding stuff with her. Because one, I am clueless, I mean I have ideas and a handy dandy planner but, I have no clue how this works. Also she is officially going to be my sister (in-law) and that makes me even more excited.

2 - My sisters minor panic - My little sister will be my maid of honor. When I called her earlier this week just to talk in general, she was having some what of an anxiety, not necessarily in a bad way, so it was cute. She, like me, has no clue how this will all go down, but we're sisters so we will learn together.

3 - Slowly announcing it at work - I work in a cupcake shop, with a bunch of women, so naturally there was going to be a reaction. The two that I'm closest too freaked out, and it was great.

4 - The ring - The ring was originally his mothers, so when he proposed, it didn't exactly fit. So we had to get it sized. It is now on my finger and looks gorgeous. It meant so much to me that his mother gave him this ring to give to me. Janet and I are very close. I sometimes hear stories about women who don't get a long with their mother-in-law and I love that it is just the opposite with her. She is an amazing woman and mother, so to know that she once wore this ring means the world to me.

 

5 - Announcing it on Facebook - Holy cow! I did not see that coming. We had a huge out-pouring of love and congratulations from people. It was slightly overwhelming. Personally with our history I think a lot of people, that we went to college with were just excited to see our relationship becoming officially forever.

6 - Engagement Bliss - Is there such a thing? If there is we are definitely in it, and are taking full advantage of this time right now. In a few months we will have to start planning a wedding. So it's nice that for now, we can just be a newly engaged, happy couple.

Thank you to everyone that has given us support this week, and over the crazy years of our relationship. Not everyone gets to meet there person, by the time they are 17, and 19 but I feel so blessed that we are one of those. I love the family that I am officially joining and can't wait for the wedding (in 2+ years) to celebrate!

4 Things today

My Boy's fries - The boyfriend has recently perfected the art of making french fries at home. Seriously, I think I will compare every fry I eat now to his fries. He really makes the best. Also he's cute so that helps too!

Girl Talk - Our friends Cait and Jewcy came over to hang out, and I got to be super girl with Cait which was awesome. I'm not always an overly girly person, but I do love the chances I get to gush over pretty and cutesy things. All girls need some pink in their life right?

Being lazy - We had a bunch of goals for the day. Wanna know how many we accomplished? One. I cleaned the bathroom. Which way too much bleach. But that was enough for me to feel like an adult so we quit and decided to just talk to people all day. It really has been a pretty perfect day.

Mr. Sunshine - If you have never seen this show you should order the special DVD right now. It is so funny. And I am very angry and ABC for cancelling it! I don't know why I didn't watch it when it came out. Alison Janney with Matthew Perry = comedic excellence.

3 Months later I'm back!

So I've been gone for awhile...a little over two months. I've been trying to write a new blog for a few weeks now to explain why, but I've decided to not do that. I'll explain in two sentences.

Someone I loved as a friend hurt me greatly, I no longer associate with that person. I see no reason to blast them on the internet and delve deeper into it, but rather focus on moving forward.

That past few months have been amazing to say the least.  So lets talk about the good things that have happened since then.

1 - Towards the End of January we (the boy and I) went to see his sister and her hubby in San Francisco. Now yes we've done these visits before, but this was the last time we would spend there. As always we had a great time, and saw jellyfish. And may or may not have seen a whale or two. I'm gonna go with not.

2 - My baby brother came to visit LA! It was amazing! I was so excited to see him, since I hadn't seen him in a year. And now he is off to the airforce. Military is kind of a thing with my family. We got to see Cirque du Soleil - Totem, which was one of the scariest and most stunning things I have ever seen in my life. Then unfortunately Los Angeles decided that winter was here and rained for the rest of his trip. But we ordered Chinese and made the best of it. And he got to have Cheesecake Factory for the first time, on his last day. Then we flew back home together.

3 - I WENT HOME! - For the first time in a year and a half I went to Pennsylvania, and it was great. There were some tricks to it. One being that where my family lives does not have Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Healthy food was hard. But my mom and I became much closer during this trip. We really became friends. The best part was hanging out with my nephew, who is one of the smartest two year old's I have ever met. And now he is in love with Journey's Don't Stop Believing, because I sang it to him to go to sleep. He also likes Part of Your World from The Little Mermaid. So my sister had to learn that too. I'm the best aunt ever.

 Oh the glory of Sheetz coffee. I you've never had it, you have never lived!

I got to be there for my brothers Air Force send off! I cried, as I did many times while I was home. I'm the emotional one. It's a fact.

4 - The AHA shoot - I did my first photo shoot ever, about a week after I came back from PA. I was terrified going into it, but it was worth it. We got some great shots out of it, and now I know what to expect when I get my headshots done.

Now that I'm back I am going to try my best to post at least once a day, even if it's something small. I want this blog to follow my journey into becoming an actress, and beam out positivity. I know I am happier, when I see others are happy as well. I hope that I can do the same for someone else.

You need to go to this link and watch this video

http://www.upworthy.com/being-a-sex-object-is-empowering-oh-wait-no-it-s-not-here-s-why-2?c=ufb1